Day 3 - Maria's Big House of Hope

A year ago if you had told me that in just 365 short days I would be riding on a bus through the Henan province with my son asleep on my lap I probably would have laughed out loud.  First of all, at that point I had no son, I had no plans for a son, and I certainly did not expect to be back in China again anytime soon.  You see, one year ago, on August 17, 2010, I spent my entire day at Maria’s Big House of Hope volunteering my time to stain a deck on the roof and play with the children inside.  Coming back to China the very next year would have seemed impossible enough.  Coming back with my son, well that would have seemed completely ludicrous.  And, yet, here I am and today I did exactly that – I rode on a bus through the Henan province with my son asleep on my lap.  And you know what?  It didn’t seem ludicrous at all.

Our morning started out pretty normal, if you can consider waking up in a hotel room and eating at the buffet breakfast normal.  We needed to meet in the lobby at 8:30 a.m. to head out for Maria’s so we were up by 6:30, Skyped with our various family members on the East Coast (all of which were getting ready for bed) and then headed down to eat.  Jack is still a fan of the breakfast buffet, but he seems to be learning very quickly that he doesn’t have to scarf down as much as he can as quickly as he can which is always a good thing to know.  We have also mastered the fine points of packing a to-go stock of cereal and fruit before leaving the breakfast area so that is good too.

At 8:30 we met up with our guide and the other two families who wanted to travel the 2-hours to Maria’s with us.  Along the way we got to see a few different areas of the Henan Province.  It took us about 45 minutes to simply get out the other side of Zhengzhou so we saw a good amount of the city.  I’m not sure if it was a “highlight” or not, but I must say one of the more memorable Zhengzhou sights was watching a rat run down the sidewalk only to have a woman stomp on its head and then continue on down the road as if she had done nothing out of the ordinary.  And the only thing that made this sight even more memorable than it would have been any other day was that I had just said, “Katie, look!  There’s a rat running down the street,” at which point Katie turned around just in time to witness the poor rodent’s demise.  What a great tourist attraction I pointed out!  Ha!

Once we got out of the city the landscape of the province changed pretty quickly.  We passed several deep valleys, traveled through two long tunnels, and saw a lot of corn.  We even saw a nuclear reactor sight which is always comforting.  Once we got to the outskirts of Luoyang, though, I was surprised that I recognized one of the main intersections leading to Maria’s and pretty proud of myself for spotting the state run orphanage that stands directly in front of Maria’s while we were still a fair ways off.  In some ways it was if nothing had changed in the past year.

Once we got off the bus we were able to go right in.  As soon as we walked in the door we were met by Mikey, the Show Hope/New Hope/MBHOH liaison who happens to be a good friend.  At the same time, however, two of the nannies came over to Jack and begin talking to him.  He was not a fan of them touching him and when one of them picked him up he immediately reached for Katie who happened to be standing right next to the nanny.  Once he got into Katie’s arms he frantically looked around until he saw me (I was standing behind him at the time) and quickly reached out for me.  I knew that his returning might be unsettling for him, but I must admit I was a little surprised by how quickly and definitively he rejected any interaction with the nannies in the building.  Not to suggest in any way that he did not have a positive experience with the nannies while he was a resident at Maria’s, but he most definitely knew that he came in that front door with Mom and he was not going to be in that building with anyone except Mom.  And that is perfectly fine with me.

Well, since Jack was having a bit of a tough time feeling secure we decided to take the tour of the building with the other two families rather than simply wander around.  Katie went off to visit friends and take pictures and love on babies, but Jack wanted to stay with Mikey so the tour route seemed a good plan.  Ironically, when we stepped off the elevator on the fifth floor the first person I saw was Nick Lyndon, one of the Show Hope staff members that led my mission team last summer.  There is currently an orthopedic surgical team at Maria’s and Nick is along on the trip as official surgery photographer.  It wasn’t odd that he would be at Maria’s, I just wasn’t expecting to see him and was pleasantly surprised to find both he and his wife there on the fifth floor.

After meeting several members of the surgical team we moved down to the fourth floor where we ran into a couple of the nurses.  Although Jack still wasn’t going to be anywhere other than in my arms, he was willing to interact with the nurses a bit.  As we walked down each of the hallways we would take our time looking at all of the beautiful black and white photos Mikey and Mariah (the head nurse) have displayed since I was there last year.  Jack wasn’t much interested in the photos, not even of the many of himself, until we reached the end of the hall on that fourth floor.  There he spotted one of the larger pictures and as quickly as he had wound himself around me inside those front doors he sat up straight, pointed wildly and smiled for the first time since we had arrived.  The picture was of a simply gorgeous little girl known at Maria’s Big House as Carissa.  Carissa is no longer at Maria’s, but Jack certainly recognized her smiling face and was very excited to see it.  Of all the things I have witnessed on this trip, all the emotions, adrenaline, anxiety and such, I can honestly say that watching Jack respond to Carissa’s photo is the closest I have come to tears.  I so very much wish that Carissa had been there to see the pure love in his eyes when he spotted her face.

Well, it was about this point that we got officially separated from our “tour”.  After seeing Carissa’s picture Jack relaxed a bit more and was even willing to get down and play with the nurses in the hallway for a few minutes.  He still didn’t want to go into any of the children’s room, but he happily led me to the preschool room and asked to go in.  Two of his friends, Isaac and Jaelynn, joined us in there as well as a Nick, Mikey and David, another Show Hope staff member working alongside the surgical team.

After a while our guide came to hurry us back outside only to tell us to take our time on the playground.  I’m not really sure why she rushed us out of the building, but Jack was happy to have time to run and climb on the playground.  He especially enjoyed jumping on the trampoline and my chasing him around the climbing equipment.  He also had a good amount of time to interact with Mikey which I believe was probably as good for Mikey as it was for Jack.  The other two families came out to play as well as a few of the surgical team members so we had a good time enjoying the cool weather – a nice break from the hot, humidity we’ve had every other day.  Finally, our guide told us it was time to go.  She also told us she was going to take us to lunch now – at KFC.  Yum.

Well, after our gourmet lunch of chicken sandwiches and chicken nuggets, it was back on the bus to head back to Zhengzhou.  Jack slept most of the way which was good for him and also gave me a little time to reflect on the day.  I will never forget the moment Jack spotted Carissa’s picture and smiled, but I don’t think I will quickly forget the actual ride out to Maria’s either.  I doubt it will be every day that I have the chance to sit next to Jack on a bus, share my headphones (one bud in my ear/one bud in his), listening to Michael W. Smith while watching him (Jack) discover m&ms are the best part of a Sweet & Salty 100 calorie pack.  Nor will Maria’s ever be quite the same.  I didn’t get the chance to hug on any little people nor did I get the chance to even really go into any child’s room, but I did get to help Jack, hopefully, find some closure and leave Maria’s with a smile on his face on his own terms and with his hand in mine.  After waking from his nap Jack rode the rest of the way to the hotel looking quite pensive and content to simply listen to the radio and stare out the window, but once we exited the bus and returned to our hotel room his smile began to shine through again and all seemed to be set right once again.

We ended our evening with our regular order at the noodle restaurant next door – a place I affectionately call “Noodle-mania”.  I’m pretty sure they should know to start cooking the fried rice and dumplings when they see us coming, but for some reason we still have to order it and wait for it to be made.  But after filling our bellies and a quick dip in the tub it was bedtime for Jack and collapse time for Katie and I.  Overall, it was a very good day.  Long and emotional, but definitely well worth it.