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Sunday, August 14, 2011

12 Hours to Jack


I know that I need to blog and that there are many of you on the other side of world waiting to read the next installment of “How the Puppy Travels”, but to be honest with you I am really tired and just want to go to bed.  Please don’t take that personally, and I promise at some point I will turn the computer back over to Stanley so he can fill you in on the Jade Market, Great Wall and Flying Acrobats show, but for now I am just going to quickly jot a few thoughts for posterity here on the night before Gotcha Day – or Gotchafication as we have come to affectionately refer to it in room 320 of the Crowne Hotel.

The nice thing is that I really don’t have much to say.  I know that there are many of you out there who are very excited for the events of tomorrow  - the most of important which will occur before you are likely to go to bed tonight (10 am-ish here in China/10 pm-ish on the East Coast) - and I am excited too, but mostly I am just at peace.  There are a few couples in our travel group who will become first time parents tomorrow and will justifiably get very little sleep tonight, but I plan to sleep very well (and soon) as at this point everything just seems natural and normal.   As I tried to explain to Katie earlier it is almost as if I am going to go pick him up tomorrow as I would any of my other children from anywhere they have been.  Not that this isn’t a big deal, it is a HUGE deal, but it just seems so normal in some way.  Like my child is simply waiting for me to pick him up and take him home because that is where he belongs and where he should be.  Perhaps that doesn’t make total sense and perhaps I am not explaining things well, but again I am at peace.   

Do I know what is going to happen tomorrow?  Do I know how Jack will react or respond to me?  Will he cry?  Will he scream?  Will he come willingly?  Or will he cower in fear?  Honestly, I have no idea.  Any of those things could happen and any of a thousand other things are possible too.  But I’m not worried about any of that.  I’m not nervous, not anxious, not worried about the little things.  I know that it will all be good and everything will turn out fine.  With me is where Jack is supposed to be.  This is what we have to do to get him here and to get him home to his father and sisters.   At this point nothing else matters, and there is no doubt in my mind that this has all been God’s divine plan.

So, perhaps this is what Paul was speaking of when he wrote of the peace that passes all understanding.  Whether tired or wide awake I don’t think I could ever truly explain just how I feel at this moment no matter how long I typed or how hard I tried.  But that is just how it is.  How will everything play out tomorrow morning?  I have no idea.  I know that Katie and I will be in the hotel lobby at 9:30 am with the necessary paperwork and monetary funds to visit the Registration Office, receive Jack from the orphanage director, complete the first few steps of the final paperwork and fees journey and then return to our hotel room with Jack between us.  Beyond that, I will let God take the lead and simply play things by ear.  Jack is my son after all and as long as I behave as his mom neither one of us can lose.  God did not bring us this far to abandon us now.

"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."  Jeremiah 29:11

“Have no anxiety about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will keep your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:1

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