Crazy Ramblings of a Frustrated Adopter

I would like to say that I am a nice person all the time, but we all know that is not the truth. And if you doubt me on that, just ask my kids.  They will undoubtedly assure you that I can yell right along with the rest of them, lose my patience over stupid little things, and be short and terse without any warning, but that doesn’t mean I like being that way.  It does mean, however, that some days I have to try extra hard not to be that way.  And today is one of those days.

I am just SO frustrated.  I know I have no control over the weather, and I am very much aware that the forecasters here in Maryland are more often wrong than right when it comes to “winter precipitation”, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be mad when I listen to said weather people and don’t prepare for them to be wrong and thus don’t make plans to get my stuff done despite the forecast and then suffer the consequences when the meteorologists are wrong again and I can’t do my errands because I didn’t make plans ahead of time.  Ugh!!  Dumb weather people!  I totally could have made it to and from Washington D.C. today to get those final three documents (that we drove to Annapolis to fix yesterday) authenticated and ready for the Chinese Embassy.  But what did I do?  I watched the news last night, fell for their “½ inch of ice on the roads by morning” story, and failed to make babysitting plans for the girls given my lack of desire to ice skate to the Metro station.  In reality – it did snow/sleet/rain/something during the night, and school is delayed two hours (what I needed to happen to make me available to travel), but the main roads are fine and I could have gotten to and from the train just fine.  Ugh!  Can I say that again?  Ugh!  And again?!  Ugh!  Ugh!  Ugh!  (Insert stomping feet sound here.)

I know I come on here and write all about the crazy things that have been happening to us lately and I am able to see the silver lining in most of my stories, but today I am just frustrated so I thought perhaps I might share that side with you too.  (Remember that long vent about The Ultimate Girl’s Night…)  I know that in the grand scheme of things I have nothing to complain about – I am healthy with a healthy family, the Lord provides well for our comfortable home and lifestyle, we have a beautiful little boy just waiting for us to come bring him home, God has heaped blessing after blessing upon our adoption journey… and yet today I am just not in that happy place.

 

Perhaps I just need to scream.  Maybe that would help.  What do you think?  We live in connected, town-house style housing but our walls are pretty thick and well insulated.  Other than my children, who I’m pretty sure already think I’m a bit crazy, who would know?  Hm…  I know it really wouldn’t fix anything, but it might make me feel better.  Hold on.  Let’s see…. 

Okay, I tried it.  Honestly, I did.  I just “Grrrrrrrr-ed” as loud as I could - right here in the middle of the kitchen.  And guess what.  Three out of four children didn’t even notice.  The fourth, Jolene, just looked up from her cereal and said “What?”  So guess what.  I did it again.  Louder!  And I threw in some fist beating on the counter for good measure.  Really, I did.  And guess what.  Still no response from the first three.  And Jolene just laughed!  Sheesh!  What does a mother have to do around here to get some sympathy?!  My goodness!  Perhaps they really do think I’m crazy.  (Should I be worried about that?)

But you know what else?  I actually feel a little better.  Perhaps Jolene laughing at me wasn’t such a bad thing.  I mean she did do it in good spirits, not in a mean sort of way.  Or perhaps it helped that during her laughing she walked over to where I was standing and promptly pointed out that the poor Ken doll next to my computer is still missing his leg.  Now there is a problem.  I guess I should be glad I don’t have his issues.  I guarantee my irritations with this whole dumb paperwork mess would be far less thought-consuming if I had to worry about my leg falling off for no good reason when people played with me.  Okay, I’m feeling better.  Thanks, Ken and Jolene, you have both been an inspiration - in a strange sort of way...

Well, I think I initially started typing this rant figuring that I would at some point ask you who read it to offer me some comforting words of patience and perseverance, but maybe now that I’ve screamed and laughed a bit I can come up with a few on my own.  We’ll see.  But I sure would invite any of you who may have something to offer to post away.  No matter what type of day I am having, I never tire of encouragement from others.  Blog as therapy?  Well, no shock there – I’ve been honest about that since day one.  Blog as blessing?  Here’s hoping…  :-)

Oh!  And here are few things I just thought of that I would be better off focusing on.  Things that make my School-delayed/art-class-canceled-should-have Day more of a Yeah-I-get-to Day…

Number 1 - I can make dinner in the crock-pot since I am home right now to get it ready.

Number 2 - I can start working on Ellie’s birthday cake during naptime instead of having to wait until after bedtime tonight.

Number 3 - I have two extra hours to spend with Jolene before school.

Number 4 – I have more time to play and read books with my other children on this cold, snuggles-needed day.

 Number 5 - Staying home provided me the time needed to perform restorative surgery on Ken’s leg.

And Number 6 – drum roll, please………I typed this entire blog still in my pajamas!  Now, that is definitely something worth celebrating.  Problem solved! :-)

Thanks for letting me vent!

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.  And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.”  Hebrews 12:1-2a

“Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance , character; and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.”  Romans 5:3-5

“Consider the ravens:  They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them.  And how much more valuable you are than birds!  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?  Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? “ Luke 12:24-25