Choosing to Say “Thank You”

This past Thursday I started reading a new book, Mary Beth Chapman’s Choosing to SEE.  At midnight Friday night, I finished it.  Now those of you who have known me a while know that my current lifestyle does not afford a great deal of reading time so for me to read a book cover to cover in under 48 hours it has to be good.  And this one definitely is.  So good in fact that it left me feeling the need to share a few things with you about it and its author.

Don’t worry, I’ll be careful not to give too much away and you don’t need any spoiler warnings.  I just found the book and its author worth talking about.  So I guess maybe that is what this is – a book talk.  Not a book report where I inform you of the main characters, setting and plot, but just a quick response to my reading of the book.  There isn’t much to tell about our adoption process these days so this seemed an appropriate "filler" topic. 

This blog, as it turns out, is really more about the author and me than the book, but I didn’t realize that would be the case until after I started writing and then looked back on what I had written.  So, I guess the words above really don’t apply to the finished product, but I have left them here as a reminder of what I intended to write about.  That said please grant me a bit of grace and leniency here as I simply share some of the thoughts Choosing to SEE has left upon my heart.

Back in 2008, shortly after we decided to join the Army and leave Tennessee I told Dan that before we left I really wanted to take Mary Beth Chapman out for coffee.  He laughed and said, “You don’t drink coffee.”  I laughed back and answered, “I know, but she does and I just want a chance to say thank you face to face.”  Over the years our paths had crossed here and there, mostly through Show Hope, but I had never spoken to Mrs. Chapman in person and I just didn’t want to leave without showing our appreciation.   Unfortunately, this coffee shop stop never happened and when I started reading her book this week it did not take very many chapters before I realized I really should have extended that invitation.  But let me back up a bit…

Just about ten years ago I had the pleasure of my first encounter with Mary Beth Chapman.  As I’ve explained before, one of my fifth grade students volunteered to approach her for me regarding what was then called Shaohannah’s Hope.  This student happened to play sports with the Chapman boys and did me this favor at basketball practice one night. The following day this student returned to school with both Mrs. Chapman's home and cell phone numbers written in bright blue gel pen on a tiny sheet of paper.  I was floored. 

Now, I am not a big follower of celebrities, I  have very few star-struck tendencies and having grown up in the Orange County/Los Angeles area of California I’ve never really been all that enthralled with all that mess.  Yes, there was a handful of people in Nashville that I hoped I’d someday meet (and perhaps even sing with) when we picked up our little apartment’s worth of belongings to relocate to Tennessee, but I’ve just never been one to adoringly “oo” and “ah” over a lot of famous people.  At the same time, however, I’d like to think I have a healthy respect for what comes to people along with their celebrity status and try to steer, maybe sometimes too far, the other direction when running into someone famous - a somewhat common occurrence in Franklin, TN.  Upon a chance sighting of said famous people I will purposely try to avoid invading their space or appearing to intrude on one’s personal life like some celebrity-watcher-acting-like-friend type might.  All that to say, I was quite struck that instead of referring me to a secretary or office number somewhere, Mrs. Chapman had responded to Drew’s request with her personal contact information.  Wow!  Certainly not what I was expecting.

Well, anyway, since that time I’ve had a few other encounters with Mrs. Chapman and they have all been just as remarkable and unexpected.  For example, when we went to China to adopt Jolene one of our sightseeing trips resulted in our stumbling across a woman embroidering some artwork for the Chapman family.  This later resulted in a couple of emails between Mary Beth and me, and later my mailing photos of the Chinese woman to the Chapman’s home.  At another point, when Dan and I were told by the local Christian bookstore that they had never actually ordered the “When Love Takes You In” performance CD we had requested for use on Jolene’s baptism day, Mrs. Chapman kindly acquired a copy for us directly from a Brentwood office.  Suffice it to say, over the years we’ve had several other brief interactions as well.  It is as if our lives seem to run in parallel universes, turning in similar orbits, but without ever really intersecting.

When Maria passed away I was torn between wanting to go to the public visitation to show our love and support and feeling our presence might simply be perceived as another family of fans wanting to interact with a performer they didn’t really know.  I wanted to help lift them up in their grief, but I didn’t want to intrude.  It took Dan’s asking me, “If they were not famous and you had had exactly the same interactions with her over the years, would you want to go?” to convince me I wasn’t celebrity-stalking in any way.  And now that I have typed this where she may actually read it someday, I hope she would approve of my answer as we did ultimately go.  We never spoke with the family that night, but we did leave a note on a sheet of provided stationary in the narthex and prayed that God would comfort them as we did not know how.

Then, the summer of 2009 rolled around and Show Hope was holding a grand opening event for its new Franklin offices.  A totally different event, but I really wanted to go.  It is no secret that I’ve been a Show Hope supporter and fan from the start (or pretty near to…) so being able to attend this event was exciting for me.  Plus, I am a fan of Steven Curtis Chapman’s music and so are our girls, thanks to my car’s CD player being loaded with not just The Imagination Movers but some of Mom’s music too; so they were excited to go hear some good music if nothing else.  As it turned out, this would be another one of those chance encounters with Mary Beth Chapman.

When Dan joined the Army in October of 2008 we knew this would mean leaving Tennessee.  This obviously wasn’t my first choice of plans as I love living there, but the opportunity for our family to live in the same house for more than six months of each year far outweighed any disappointments associated with moving.  So, going into the summer of 2009, it was well known that we would be leaving Tennessee soon and as I already had my silly dream of taking Mrs. Chapman out for coffee someday I must admit that as we drove to The Factory in Franklin I was praying for a chance to finally speak with her in person.  Hoping for a long awaited opportunity to say a proper thank you for all her family and Show Hope has done for us over the years.  Praying for just a moment of her time.  I never imagined what I would get was yet another shock.

At the end of the grand opening event we waited around for a little while waiting for the crowd to thin out.  I had brought a friend with me to help with the girls and she knew what I was hoping for so we just took our time looking around the office space.  And then, there she was.  As simple as that I was able to introduce myself, shake Mary Beth Chapman’s hand and say “thank you” face to face.  And what did our gracious hostess do?  Without missing a beat she said that she knew who I was and then promptly asked if Dan was still deployed or if he had already returned home from service overseas.  Wow!  This was not a busy woman politely pretending to recognize me amidst a crowd of “fans”, this was a mom who not only made a connection to our family name but pieced it together with a personal fact that I had mentioned in passing at least four or five months earlier.

Needless to say, that moment made a profound impact on me - one that I will not easily or soon forget.  You see I don’t really put much stock into the idea of idols and I’ve never really had one.  Sure, I grew up thinking that Michael W. Smith was the best thing since sliced bread and I’ve always kept my sister on a pretty tall pedestal, but I don’t really go for the “I want to be just like that” type thing.  I do, however, believe in role models and the value of having people of strong character to use as guides along life’s highway.  I also believe that for a committed Christian woman living in modern day America such role models can be few and far between, and I think that is why this moment was so compelling for me.  Here was a woman who had no real reason to even remember my name who instead was able to make a personal connection merely because she has a heart for God and outreach.  Again, wow!  Perhaps you think it is silly for me to think this was a big deal, but for me it was.  What an amazing example of Christian encouragement - a model of humility that I would be blessed to follow.

Looking back, especially after having now read her book, I wish that before we moved I really had bought Mary Beth Chapman that cup of coffee.  I think we could have had a really good conversation as we seem to have quite a bit in common, but more than that it would have been such a simple way to relay just a tiny bit of my respect and gratitude for who she is.  But maybe now the time is even better to offer her my thanks as her book has once again provided an unexpected encounter.  As a memoir of walking in and all around faith, it is most of all a reflection of a purely human walk - a perfectly human experience of one woman’s relationship with Christ and the God that made her.  Not my story or your story, but one that provides a model of life as a Godly woman - giving strength to those of us who read it merely by being an example of being a work in progress.  And for that, in addition to all of the many other things I’ve mentioned (or left unsaid), I am very thankful.  Thankful for Mary Beth Chapman, and thankful again for her being a continual influence in my life even if only through random encounters as our lives continue to spin in those parallel universes.

And for those of you reading this who happen to be personal friends with Mrs. Chapman, another example of those parallel lives, please feel free to tell her that she always has a cup of coffee waiting for her from me.  Maybe someday I will actually have the chance to treat her to it.  =)

I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.  Philippians 1:3-6