The High Cost of Adoption

As I posted on facebook a few days back, I have been trying to not focus on the complete cost of the adoption process at this time as we are truly taking this journey one step at a time.  To make things a bit more palatable, we have just been focusing on one fee at a time in order to be ready when each new bill comes due.  We have adopted from China twice before so it’s not like we’re completely clueless to the cost, and that is really why I have tried to avoid the long list of dollar signs whenever I can.  This is a pricey endeavor no matter how you look at it and since we really had no plans to jump into another adoption at quite this point in our lives we are even more unprepared for the cost now than we were twice before.  But, here we are, right where God has planned us to be… so in all reality that long list of dollar signs really is our reality so I can’t completely ignore it.  

More to the point, more and more people have been asking me questions about the “total cost”, the “timeline for payments”, etc., so I thought perhaps a walk through the numbers might be in order.  Now, please know for sure, I am not posting this information to in anyway gloat about how much money we are willing to spend to bring Jack home – that is certainly not the case.  Nor am I posting the information to overwhelm you with the financial side of adoption – I certainly don’t want to do that either.  I just thought you might find it interesting, especially those of you new to the adoption world, to see just how the numbers break down and just why the numbers add up to so much.

 

So, with no further ado, here is a list of the itemized fees associated with a Chinese adoption.  See you on the other end!

Adoption Agency Fees - Chinese Children Adoption International: 

(*denotes fees we have already paid)

Application Fee - $200*

First Program Fee - $2,250*

USCIS Filing & Fingerprinting - $720 plus $85 per adult (this is the immigration step)

Dossier Preparation – approx. $450
Home Study – as agreed with local home study agency (see below)

Second Program Fee - $2,260

CCAA Fee - $1050 (China Center of Adoption Affairs)

Third Program Fee - $1,350

Post Adoption Deposit - $500

Visa to enter China - $130 (plus courier fee)

US Domestic & International Airfare - $1,000-$1,800 per adult plus return airfare for child

In China Travel & Accommodations – approx. $2,400-$3,200 for two adults

Adoption Registration & Notarization (in China) - $400-$800

Child’s Passport (in China) - $100-$150

Orphanage Fee – approx. $5000

Food (in China) - $600-$800 per couple

Child Physical & Photo (in China) - $80

Child U.S. Entry Visa - $400

Post Adoption Services – as agreed with local home study agency (see below)

Local Homestudy Agency - America World Adoption:

Application - $50*

Home Study - $2,000*

Home Study Mileage Fee - $84*

Post Adoption Reports – 2 @ $400 each*

Re-Adoption Paperwork (if needed) - $450

Home Study/Dossier Paperwork Fees &Expenses:

CA Secretary of State Certification fee - $20*   

Postage – $4.90 x 2*

Chinese Embassy Authentication, Los Angeles - $65*  

Postage - $18.85 x 2*

Copy of each parent’s Complete Driving Record (TN) - $12*

Child Abuse Clearance from CA - $30*

Police and Child Care Clearance/Fingerprinting for MD - $112.50*

Postage - $4.90*

Various Notary fees - $4-8 each, approximately 10-12 documents

County Certification fees - $7

MD Secretary of State Certification fee - $45

VA Secretary of State Certification fee – $10

Postage - $18.85 x 2

US. Department of State Authentication – $80

Postage - $18.85 x 2

Chinese Embassy Authentication, Wash. D.C.  – $200

Postage - $18.85 x 2

Well, what do you think?  Want to join us?  Think we’re crazy?  It is a lot of numbers isn’t it?  And a lot of paperwork – ugh!  But no matter how overwhelming or intimidating the above list may appear, it is most important to remember that the journey is SO totally worth it!  And the ultimate result - Jack being home with his family - is invaluable!  Just think of it this way, God was willing to pay for your adoption with the blood of His son - that reality makes this list pale in comparison, don't you think?  Every adoption is expensive, whether domestic or international, but none is as costly as when each of us was bought and paid for on the cross.  I'll be the first to admit, sometimes this list is purely daunting, and sometimes the numbers make me roll my eyes, check our bank balance and wonder where it will all come from.  But then I pull myself back up from the floor, dust myself off, and remind myself that God put us here and God will provide in God's timing.  And then I'm okay again - at least until I look at the list again.  Ha!  But that is why I don't spend time looking at it.  And now that you have seen it, you don't need to look at it anymore either.  Just say a prayer, smile for Jack, and watch where we're going.  I guarantee it's worth hanging around for.  : )

Nothing Philosophical - Part 3

Our first night in China was spent doing the traditional “getting to know you” group things.  We had pizza for dinner (yes, pizza) and then went around the table sharing our names, hometowns, little things about ourselves, etc.  The point of all of this was only partly for forging friendship sake, it was mainly to keep our group of 20 travelers awake so we could avoid jetlag and adjust to the new time-zone as quickly as possible.  One of the most telling questions of the evening, for me anyway, was the inevitable “Why did you sign up to come on this trip?”  I honestly had no good answer to this question.  I listened to person after person talk about being God-led, about wanting to “love on some babies” and various other mission callings, but I really didn’t have any of those answers.  My only answer was that I had finally found something I could do with Show Hope.  It sounded a bit trivial at the time, and in a way it still does, but that was really all I had.  

  

As a side note, a few weeks ago one of my China-trip friends (a really cool chick from Australia) reminded me of this conversation and pointed out that one of the reasons I went on this trip was so God could introduce me to our son.  Obviously that would never have been an answer I’d give that night, but in hind-sight it is most definitely true.  Just more proof that God has a much bigger plan than we could ever imagine.  

Our first full day in China was spent sightseeing at the Great Wall in the morning, followed by a visit to the Hope Healing Home in Beijing.  This was my first introduction to the New Hope Foundation, which runs and operates Maria’s Big House of Hope, and I was hooked.  Even though we have adopted from China twice before, both of our adoptions were of “healthy” children and I really had no working knowledge of how special needs adoptions and/or orphan cared worked. We were given a tour of the facility and an informative talk by one of the directors of New Hope, Robin Hill, and it all fascinated me.  As I listened intently to the details of the “waiting child” system I could easily imagine my putting this information to good use.  I have spent years advocating for adoption, but the only experiences I had to draw from were our own two adoptions.  Now I was gathering loads of information about another form of the adoption process and I was seeing huge possibilities for this whole new realm of knowledge as I became more comfortable with advocating both systems.

After our stint at Hope Healing House, we headed back to the airport for our flight to Luoyang, home to Maria’s Big House of Hope.  We would arrive at Maria’s late that night and be given a full tour in the morning.

I cannot tell you when I first met Jack (then called Jim) at Maria’s.  It may have been that first full day, but I honestly cannot remember.  I do remember that my first day or two there were spent pretty much in a blur.  I still wasn’t quite sure what I was doing there, and the way that others seemed to jump right in to playing with babies and joking around with nannies and staff was a bit disconcerting to me.  I’m not really all that much of an extrovert in the first place and although I didn’t feel uncomfortable in the situation, I wasn’t really sure what to do with myself either.  I spent a lot of those first couple days praying – about my trip and Maria’s, but also about my own homelife, my kids, my husband, our new home, God’s purpose for me, and just about everything else you can think of.  As I have told many people since I returned from this trip, it turned out I had a lot to work through in my own personal journey before I could truly give myself over to this adventure at Maria’s, but that is an entirely different discussion.

By the third full day of our trip, I think I was coming around.  My first true memories of Jack are from the preschool room on the first floor of Maria’s.  I may have had contact with him before this, but honestly that is something I can neither confirm nor deny.  I remember him from preschool as being extremely quiet, but extremely smart.  He sat on the floor working puzzles, one after another, as well as willingly doing craft projects.  He was also very attentive to the needs of one of the other more limited-movement children as she played next to him.  Thinking back I think he did stand out to me a bit from the beginning, but I actually spent most of my preschool experiences playing with two of the other boys in the room.  This, however, is what I remember as my first impressions.

I can’t really tell you when it was that Jack started to pull on my heartstrings either.  I remember what thoughts went running through my mind, but couldn’t for the life of me tell you what day of the trip it was.  I remember I was sitting on floor just inside the door of the Tinker Bell room with a little girl named Jessica and I was just watching him play.  I can’t remember what he was doing, or if he was interacting with another child or not, but I remember thinking that he had the potential for so much more LIFE.  He didn’t look unhappy, in fact he was having a great time, but there was just something in his eyes that seemed to be waiting for something more.  (For those who have read my “I Miss Jim” blog this might sound familiar.)  I remember out of the blue thinking, “He would be so happy with our girls.  He would fit right in.”  Now, for anyone who has met, or even just heard stories of our girls this may seem nuts.  Here was this quiet, reserved little boy and my imagination was placing him in the midst of the complete whirlwind of chaos that follows our crowd of girls like Pig Pen’s dust cloud.  But somehow it just seemed the right fit.  From all that I had seen of his intellect in the preschool room, and all that I was experiencing one-on-one with him in his home base room, it just seemed like a match made in heaven. 

But, there was a HUGE problem with this idea and it weighed on my heart with far more intensity than I was first willing to admit.  Remember that whole net worth qualification for adoption thing?  Well, as far as I knew no rich uncle had died and left us his fortune in the few short days I had been in China.  Our net worth was still exactly as it had been when I left home a few days before.  As much as I looked at Jack and wanted to take him home there was absolutely no way we qualified to adopt given our current financial situation.  I had filled out that financial statement form twice before and knew how it worked.  The only way to do this was to wait a really, really long time until we actually had more money to our names – not something that was going to happen overnight given one source of income, rental housing and a family of six. 

Quick note - I just realized as I was proofreading this, that as much as I cannot remember when exactly I met Jack, I cannot remember when God changed my heart about going home with an adoption plan either.  Honestly, I don't think I ever even questioned it.  Dan and I had agreed to leave the idea of another adoption as an option in our lives but, as I said, I left this country convinced that this trip was absolutely NOT about adopting and I obviously came home with a different heart.  But who knows when my heart made that turn around?  I guess God does, which is good, because I sure don't.

Weekly Update November 21

To alleviate some of the over-emailed irritation I know I have been causing some people I have come up with a weekly update format for future emails and I will be posting these update here as well.  From now on, all of my adoption emails will come with separate sections for where we are in the process, any fund-raising news, prayer requests, and a final catch-all category for other "stuff".  Hopefully that will streamline things a bit.  It should make life a bit better for those who just want a quick update on process, as well as satisfy those who want to know a lot of details.  I also promise to never send out more than one update email in a week's time - the only excepting being our travel notification announcement which I will shout as loud as I can from the highest mountaintop as soon as we get it!  I claim no once-a-week limit to blogging though so all bets are off here.  :)

Process Updates:

Our home study is almost complete – all visits have been made, the last of our doctor forms submitted, and TN paperwork has arrived.  We are now just waiting on our fingerprints to be cleared by the state of Maryland and the FBI.  My prints seem to be moving through the process faster than Dan’s, but we are still waiting on reports for both of us.  Once those arrive, hopefully SOON, we should be able to have our homestudy reviewed by our adoption agency, signed off on by our homestudy agency, and submitted to Immigration fairly quickly.  Hopefully….

We did make a bit of headway on our end this week.  I was able to take a collection of completed paperwork to Annapolis for county and state seals.  This makes that stack of paperwork ready for submission to the US State Department for that seal.  This is good, but not entirely helpful as we are waiting for that dang homestudy so that we can send everything to DC in one envelope as it will cost us $40 postage per package mailed.   Still one step closer though.

Fund-Raiser Updates:

I have heard from a couple of my Ultimate Girl’s Night Out vendors about sales donations.  One will be submitting a check for $20 and a second check should be coming for roughly the same amount.  That is at least a bit of good news – those 20’s will cover that needed postage to the US State Department.  J

We are still selling Show Hope t-shirts.  They are $25 each, and you can see all 8 shirts and ordering information at our family blog -  http://foraplace.blogspot.com.  Our first goal was to sell 50 shirts in order to profit $500 and pay our Post Adoption Deposit, due to CCAI before travel.   We have sold 37 shirts so far – not bad! – but we still need to sell the remaining 13 (at least).  We have 1 sale pending, but would love for you to consider supporting us by supporting Show Hope.  (www.showhope.org) 

***NEW*** 

We are also excited to announce a new fund-raising opportunity we have – “Joe” for Jack.  Just Love Coffee, a family owned business in Murfreesboro, TN, has set up an adoption fund-raising account in our name.  This means that you can now buy coffee and support our cause at the same time.  Please take a moment to visit our coffee store at http://www.justlovecoffee.com/TheShipleys and see what “we” have to offer.  The prices are quite competitive with Starbucks and Gloria Jeans, and for each bag of coffee purchased on our site, Just Love Coffee will donate $5 to our adoption fund.  Coffee for you, a trip home for Jack - just another win-win situation.  J

Other “Stuff”:

Just as a side note, I was lucky enough to volunteer at the Show Hope table last night at “A Night with the Chapmans” event featuring the band Caleb, several song sets by Steven Curtis Chapman, and the testimony of Mary Beth Chapman.  I had a great time, and was very excited to see Jack’s face right in the middle of things.  The Show Hope newsletter featuring Jack on the cover was displayed abundantly on the Show Hope table, and it was such a blessing to watch our son witness for Show Hope all the way from the other side of the world.  I think his picture actually made more one-on-one contact with attendees than our group of volunteers did.  What a great story he has!  And what a wonderful way for me to spend the evening with our son.

**If you do not currently receive adoption emails from me but would like to start, please let me know with a "comment" and I will get you added to the list.  Thanks!

"Joe" for Jack

Hey!  Did you hear?  We're now in the coffee selling business.  Who knew?  This journey just keeps taking us in more and more new directions!

Here are the details:
Just Love Coffee Roasters is a family run business in Murfreesboro, TN providing adoptive families financial assistance in their journey.  Through their adoption fund-raising program, we have been able to set up our own coffee "store" located on the web at http://www.justlovecoffee.com/TheShipleys.  For each bag of coffee sold through our store website Just Love Coffee will donate $5 to our adoption fund.  It is THAT easy!  You buy and enjoy great coffee - we earn dollars toward the Jack fund.  Another win-win situation!

So, what are you waiting for?  Go check out our coffee shop!  :)

"Just Love Coffee Roasters takes the two passions of its founder,orphans and Fair Trade coffee, and incorporates them into one symbiotic relationship that is Just Love Coffee Roasters. If you're an adopting family raising money for your adoption or just a lover of quality Fair Trade coffees that help Kids Care orphanage in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, you are supporting orphans by drinking Just Love Coffees.
Roasting Fair Trade Specialty coffees, Just Love uses proceeds to help an Ethiopian orphanage and families adopting not just from Ethiopia, but from anywhere in the world."  To learn more about Just Love Coffee be sure to visit the "Our Story" link on their website.
 
P.S.  A huge "THANK YOU" to my sister-in-law and her friend who headed us in this direction.

Nothing Philosophical - Part 2

Okay, I simply cannot leave that last blog in the title spot for very long so I thought I would jump in real quick with the next installment of the how-we-got-here story.  I'm not going to delete or remove the previous post because it too is part of this journey, but I am also not going to dwell on it anymore than I have so let's get back to the fun stuff...

When we first started planning my new journey to China, the task was a bit daunting.  The trip was expensive and we had very little cash to throw toward it.  Also, this adventure was going to take me away from home for at least 10 days.  That may not seem like a big deal to you, but with four children, ages 7 and under, and a full-time working spouse, 10 days is a long time for Mom to be away.  But we put out our feelers, sent out support letters, agreed to use a bit of the money we had left from selling our house and pushed forward.  Long story short, on August 12th I was heading to China - trip paid for and family and friends set to babysit.  Ready, set, jump!

I have said this many times since I first registered to go on the "first ever Show Hope Sponsor Trip", and I know there are those who still don't believe me, but when I signed up for this trip I had absolutely no intention of coming back with adoption plans.  Really.  It's true!  From the very beginning people made fun of me - Dan told people I was carving a child-sized hole in foam for my suitcase, church friends asked how many children I was going to sneak back with me, the jabs came from many different directions.  But I truly, honestly had no adoption intentions.  This trip was 100% about finally getting to do something for Show Hope, and finally feeling like I could offer something back.  And then God spoke to me by way of the Show Hope China Missions Handbook.

You see, the night before our group was to meet at the Chicago airport and head overseas I flew to Chicago and met up with three of my soon-to-be new mission trip family members - mainly to avoid possible delays and missed flights on trip day.  After arriving in Chicago, meeting up with my roommate for the evening, having a yummy spaghetti dinner and meeting the other two members of our group, I went back to our hotel room and started reading through my handbook.  Yep, I admit, I was already in Chicago by the time I gave the handbook a really good look-see, but remember I am the mother of four children, ages 7 and under, so cut me a little slack, okay?  Not a whole lot of peace and quiet going on around here and I had perused enough to make sure I knew what I was doing.  Anyway, it was here that God first started talking to me about adopting again, and for the record the words He whispered to me were not "go for it!"

Instead, the paperwork I was reading very clearly said, "You do not qualify."  And there it was. You see, it works like this..  When we moved to Maryland, we sold our house in Tennessee and became renters on base at Fort Meade.  Then, we took a huge portion of our house proceeds and used it to pay off my car and pay down one remaining debt in our journey to debt-free land.  Why does this matter, you ask?  Because by being renters and by not banking our house profits, we drastically altered our overall net worth - one big piece of the puzzle for adoption eligibility.  I looked at that net worth requirement number and knew right then and there that this trip was not about adopting again.  And I must admit I probably looked a heck of a lot like the Cheshire Cat as a very smug "I told you so" look came across my face.  No one wanted to believe me, but this trip was not about finding a child to adopt and now I could prove it.  (Or so I thought.)

The next morning I woke up with a renewed spirit.  This may have just been residual effects of sleeping without small children around for the first time in four years, but I'd like to think of it in more spiritual terms.  In many ways my heart was at peace.  I saw this trip as a huge learning experience, and with the whole adoption thing off the table I was free to explore and learn and soak up whatever I could.  So off I went, headed for China, ready for an adventure but never expecting what I got - and I'm not just talking about Jack.

Caution: Contains Some Whining - Read At Your Own Risk

So, “The Ultimate Girl’s Night” is over and it didn’t do as well as I had hoped, but I think I am slowly getting over that.  As I wrote in my last blog, “it is what it is” and now I must move on.  In hindsight, I am very thankful to have written that blog on Friday (thank you, sister-in-law Carrie, for prompting me to write), as its message has helped me a great deal through my struggle to keep things in perspective these couple of days after.  I have been really frustrated with the small outcome of the event and have really wrestled with how much to share with you here and how exactly to explain things so that my comments don’t come out all wrong or unintentionally offend someone.  After having a short chat with my loving sister-in-law these evening, however, I think I’m going to try.

First of all, I want to make one thing VERY clear.  As I reflect on the events of Friday night, I am in no way frustrated or upset with anyone involved with the "Ultimate Girl’s Night Out" other than myself.  Dan and I have been very blessed by others’ generosity and we are very grateful to be approximately $400 closer to our bill paying goal of $2500.  We would never have had those dollars in our adoption fund if it had not been for the vendors, the helpers, the shoppers, the donators, and the many, many prayers lifted over our plans.  All of those prayers, plans and people came together in a wonderful way to support our efforts to bring Jack home, and they are all now a part of his story.  To each of you, we are very grateful.  Friday truly was a success if you look at the contributions of our immediate community of support. 

But… All of that said, that myriad of positive things simply does not balance out all of the negative things I have been carrying around in my heavy heart for the past 48 hours.  I’m going to be very honest here, okay?  (I’ll assume you just said “yes”, because otherwise you probably wouldn’t still be reading this blog anymore anyway, right?)  If nothing else, I am sure that by now you know my writing well enough to know I don’t sugarcoat much.   If I’m going to log in and tell my story, I am going to say what is true - and what is true right now is that I failed.  I have failed Jack, failed my family, and failed to hit a financial mark that we so desperately needed to hit before our homestudy is finalized.  My deepest fear is that our homestudy will be completed, but will just sit here stagnant while we wait for funds to appear so that we can pay the next agency fee and move further forward in this journey.  Truthfully, I am very disappointed in myself.  I am saddened that I did not provide a better turnout for my vendors.  I am frustrated that I used one of our precious fund-raising opportunities for an event that didn’t turn nearly the profit we need to hit that aforementioned mark.  And I am simply mad at myself for not being able to “pull this off” – that I didn’t inspire people to step up, that I wasn’t able to sell the idea, and that I did not manage to reach out and find a responsive audience.  For the past two days these feelings have really run the gauntlet – anger, frustration, sadness, disappointment, depression.  If it fits in the “yuck” category I’ve probably been there – and I've probably been there more than once.  

But, believe it or not, this is not all bad news...In addition to all the words I could sit here and list in the “yuck” category, I have also felt some other things.  I have experienced hopefulness, assurance, joy, satisfaction, determination and peacefulness, to name just a few.  As much as I have struggled with myself about my failures and shortcomings, I also know that ultimately God is in control.  In all reality, I turned Friday night over to Him and gave Him full control before, during and after the event so this really isn’t about me at all.  Am I happy with the outcome – yes and no, I covered that above.  But do I trust that He has a plan for the next step of this journey?  Absolutely.  Where is the rest of the money going to come from?  I have absolutely no idea.  Will we have to wait a long time for it?  Again, I have absolutely no idea.  Will our financial shortcomings mean a delay in our process and a later trip to bring Jack home?  Once again, I have absolutely no idea.  But when I cut through all of my own “all about me” pity-party crap, I know that it doesn’t really matter what I know.  God knows.  And God has a plan.  And God’s plans are always way better than mine, even if they run contrary to my planning.  And that I absolutely do know.

So, for now I will drop this topic here.  Hopefully you aren’t too put off by my whining and complaining and wallowing in self-pity.  And hopefully you truly understand how very grateful I am to all who chose to be even the smallest part of our "Ultimate Girl’s Night Out".  It is what it is, and it will always be just that.  Nothing can be changed about it now.  When the online sales close on Friday and the vendor donations are posted, we will see the final result of the effort.  But as I said on Friday, huge success or small victory it all belongs to the Lord so I will simply pray that it may all be to the praise of His glorious grace.

Finally, I would like to leave you with a few scripture passages which have been running through my mind these past couple of days.  They have helped me stay centered on the things that are true, fight back against the voices of doubt and depression, and remain focused on the things that really count.  I pray that they may speak to you as well.  Thank you for continuing on this journey with us, your support is immeasurably precious.

Proverbs 3:5-6  “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.”

Psalm 37:4-5  “Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.  Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act."

Psalm 55:22  “Cast your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you; He will never permit the righteous to be moved.”

Isaiah 41:10  “Fear not, for I am with you, be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.”

Hebrews 12:1-3   “…let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith…” 

Romans 12:1-2   “I appeal to you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.  Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may prove what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

 

James 1:27  "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God and the Father is this:  to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." 

It Is What It Is

As any teacher will tell you, spring doesn’t only bring blossoms and sunshine, it also brings standardized testing.  I am sure you have heard of it, right?  You know… those tests everyone likes to argue about.   The ones that are supposed to tell you how good a teacher is.  Oops!  I mean, how well a student is learning.  You know… that big book of multiple choice questions that take you a week to answer because you only work on them for 40 minutes or so at a time.  Yep!  Those are the ones.

Now, ask any teacher who has ever worked with me and they will tell you that these tests never really seemed to bother me.  While administrators, aides and other classroom teachers might be stressing out about last minute cram sessions and lists of topics not yet covered this year, I am proud of the fact that I was always able to take things in stride.  It wasn’t that I wasn’t concerned with the standardized testing coming up, it was simply that I wasn’t worried about it.  It was what it was.  If I had done my job day in and day out then the tests would take care of themselves.   If I had presented information in an interesting way that made knowledge meaningful, and therefore memorable; if I had taught my students to think and not simply repeat back to me, then there was really nothing left to do in the final days before testing.  Review?  Of course.  Continue presenting new information?  Of course.  But teaching and panicking are not the same thing and at some point you have to decide what is in and out of your control.   Teaching for knowledge was my job.  Using that knowledge when asked was my students’ job.  I have never understood how teachers, many way better at their jobs than I, needed to worry so much about a test.  Test day was what it was.  Nothing I did in the final hours was going to make or break it.

So, why do I bring such a crazy subject up today?  Well, because today in many ways is once again test day for me.  Today is the day that all my days of “doing my job” comes to a head and we see what fruits will come from it.  And it is what it is.  I can honestly say that over the past month or so I have done what I can with my mere human hands to get this event put together and pulled off.  I have spent countless hours contacting vendors, organizing gift bags, door prizes, emails and more.  And it is what it is.  All that is left is in God’s wondrous hands.  As I put it earlier today in an email, huge success or small victory - this night is all His.  And He will make it what He deems it to be.  I have done my job.  I have run the good race, now I shall wait upon the Lord.  Only He knows how this event will turn out, and only He knows how that turn out will inevitably be used to His glory.  So, for now, I shall leave it at that.  It is what it is.  And it is all in His hands.

Thank you to all of you who have played even the slightest part in putting this night together.   Some have prayed, some have shopped, some have helped me to organize my vendors.  Some have even watched my girls so I could simply have a conversation without little people interrupting.  No matter what your part – it has all been necessary to get to this point.  Some might think it is silly to make a single fund-raiser out to be such a big deal, but in my world it is a big deal.  I’ve done large crowd adoption fund-raisers before – a walk-a-thon, benefit concerts, silent auction, etc.  – but those were all done with the active support of a church fellowship I had been a part of for years.  This event is different.  I have put it together at a church we have been members of only a few months, with people who have only known me that long, and with the aid of some people who I will not actually meet in person until the event occurs tonight.  In my opinion, that is a big deal.  And it just goes to show, our God is a BIG God!

So once again I will say it – It is what it is.  And may it all be to the glory of His wonderful grace.

God Bless!

Nothing philosophical - Part 1

Okay, so those of you who read the posts here regularly have probably noticed that I normally come and type when I am feeling particularly introspective.  I've decided, however, that to lighten the mood a bit I should sometimes just write when I feel like writing.  So, that my friends, is what I have decided to do today.  Just write.  For the fun of it.  And to share a long overdue story...

When I first started this blog thing one of my initial comments was that I needed to share how we got started in this new (third) adoption process, but then of course I went off to talk about something else.  Today, however, I have a little time so I thought I'd go back and cover some ground that seems to have been skipped.  To tell what I can about how the Lord introduced us to Jim/Jack and how we came to the decision to adopt again.

I suppose to really tell the story right, I should start at a different beginning so newer things will be in context.  Way back when, in 2002, Dan and I were working through the beginning stages of Jolene's adoption.  As luck would have it (if you believe in luck - which I don't...), one of my students happened to play basketball on the same team as Caleb and Will Franklin Chapman.  After hearing me discuss our adoption and our interest in Shaohannah's Hope (now Show Hope), which was just coming to be at that time, this student offered to ask Mary Beth Chapman about the grant program for me.  Mind you, this was a 5th grader, so this was a huge offer.  After checking with his mother, a fellow teacher, and having her tell me she thought it was a great idea, I said "Sure."  And so our connection to Show Hope was established.  From that initial contact we were able to apply for and receive a sizable grant toward Jolene's adoption.  Then, about two years later, we were again blessed with a grant, this time helping to bring Becca home.

Our initial response to the generosity and support of Show Hope was the desire to give back.  We were thrilled when they began to take monthly sponsors through the Stevey Joy Club and jumped on board immediately.  And we have been fascinated to watch the growth of this organization over the years, as well as blessed to feel as though we are a small piece in their giant puzzle.  One thing that always bothered me, however, was that I couldn't find a way to do more.  In the beginning, Show Hope was based out of Virginia so even though I contacted them with my willingness to volunteer where needed, I was too far away to really be of service.  Eventually, Show Hope moved their offices to Franklin, TN, just a few miles from our home so this lifted my spirits a bit.  Then, as they grew larger, they started to periodically send out a call for volunteers for one event or another.  Each time they asked I would quickly respond "yes" if at all possible, but since I lived so close to their Franklin offices there was never a need for help in the local venues as their regular staff had already chosen to help out.  I was glad they had the help, but I was still frustrated by how little I could do beyond being a monthly sponsor.  Here was an organization that had given us so much, and I just wanted to give back!

Then, something happened.  Suddenly I had the chance to do something with Show Hope.  Shortly after our family moved to Maryland this past winter I received an email from Show Hope advertising their summer missions projects - and one of them was just for me.  Finally!  For a few years they had been conducting missions trips for young adults, ages 16-25, and I had even asked for them to let me know if they ever needed more chaperones, but these new trips were specifically aimed at sponsors - those people committed to supporting Show Hope regularly.  Yeah!  That was us!  There were three trips listed - one trip firmly planned for August, and two more potential trips in the months following.  I talked with Dan about the possibilities and we both agreed this was something I should do.  We didn't see how we could quite pull off the fees to meet the August trip deadlines, but the October trip looked promising.  Then, a few weeks later, after I had spent many days wishing and wondering how I could possibly make the August journey work, we received word again from Show Hope that they had slightly lowered the fees for this first trip.  We still weren't sure how we were going to manage the cost - it wasn't that drastically different, but after discussing and praying again we decided to jump in and I signed up for the trip.

And so, without us having the slightest idea He was doing it, God put this new adoption plan in motion...

Ultimate Girl's Night Out! Door Prizes

For those in the MD area, here are just a few of the door prizes coming in for Girl's Night!

*Pampered Chef – Grinder Set

*Tastefully Simple – Box of Fudgy Popcorn, White Fudgy Flavored Popcorn and a can of Butterscotch Kisses Cocoa Mix

*Arbonne – Aromassential Sea Salt Scrub

*Scentsy – Full size warmer and Scentsy bar

*Tupperware – Wonderlier Bowls – set of 3;  Wonderlier Bowls – set of 4;  Radiance by Tupperware Medium Serving Bowl & a Sports Bottle Keychain

*Uppercase Living – Thanksgiving Decorative piece

*At Home America – One Hot Pot! Diffuser

*Avon – Mineral Gems Diamond Blush Pack – includes 1 gelled body oil, 1 body wash, 1 body scrub, 1 body lotion, 1 diamond blush bag

And that is just from the vendors who have checked in!  We also have books, notepads, scrapbooking supplies, Christmas decorations, and MORE!

Don't miss out - this is going to be a great night!!

Ultimate Girl's Night Out! Shopping Guide

“THE ULTIMATE GIRL’S NIGHT OUT!” is less than two weeks away, and here is your sneak peek!  Listed below are all of our vendors as well as any online ordering information they have provided.  For those not able to attend the actual event, this is a great opportunity for you to still get that jump on your holiday shopping while helping us bring Jack home.  You may miss the movie and door prizes, but you can still get in on some great deals!  Feel free to contact me with any questions.  And, of course, feel free to pass this information along to family, friends and co-workers.  Happy shopping!!

ARBONNE – (Jamie Kingry)

No online option.

Book a party in November, December or January, and 15% of your party sales will go to the adoption fund.

AT HOME AMERICA – (Brittany Moore)

Online ordering available now.

www.athome.com/brittanymoore

A percentage of any At Home America online orders, now through December, will go toward our adoption fund.

Any parties booked through “The Ultimate Girl's Night Out!” will also earn dollars toward our fund.

AVON – (Heather Sledge)

Online party will run from November 1st - the 17^th

1.     Go to

http://www.facebook.com/l/5a0d7HtscI4qdIYhilD3RhyGE-g;www.youravon.com/hsledge

2.    Click on E parties, this will select our party

3.    Party Code:  JackShipley (no spaces) – be sure to enter our code or we will not get credit for your order.

If they spend over $30.00 they get free shipping enter code FS30REP at check out....

CHICKABEE DESIGNS  - (April Young)

View handmade jewelry products at either of her sites (The facebook site has a larger inventory.) Contact April through her sites to order.

http://www.facebook.com/ChickaBeeDesigns

http://www.etsy.com/shop/chickabeedesigns

CREATIVE MEMORIES – (Tonya Conde – all orders will be online)

Online party open now through Thanksgiving

Percentage of all orders will be donated to our adoption fund.

1.     Go to http://www.facebook.com/l/54282mAglGB9PyfSgtjT2MuQxkg;www.mycmsite.com/tonyaconde

2.    Shop.

3.    Choose me, Deborah Shipley, as your hostess at checkout

LIA SOPHIA – (Angela Forte)

Online party open now through November 19

http://www.liasophia.com/boxofjewels

Book a party through “The Ultimate Girl’s Night Out!” for November, December or January and 10% of the show sales will be donated toward our adoption fund.

MARY KAY – (Janie Vance)

View products and place orders through the website below. 

www.marykay.com/janievance

PAMPERED CHEF – (Tiffany Baldwin)

No information available at this time.

PREMIER DESIGNS – (Rachel Jamison)

No online shopping offered by Premier Designs, but you can contact our representative, Rachel Jamison, at redjewels.sparkle@gmail.com  to request a catalog and/or set up a catalog party.

Anyone who books a show in November, December or January will receive an extra $50 in free jewelry on top of the free items they will receive from the company!  

A percentage of sales from all shows booked, as well as movie night will be donated!!

SCENTSY – (Melissa Williamson)

Online party open now through November 19

1.    Go to http://melrae.scentsy.us

2.    Locate “The Ultimate Girl’s Night Out Party” under “My Open Parties.”

3.    Click on “Buy from Party”.

4.    Shop!  

SHOW HOPE – (Deborah Shipley)

Online ordering available now.

T-Shirts for sale – 8 styles, adult and children sizes available, all shirts $25.

Show Hope is a major contributor to Maria’s Big House of Hope as well as provides grants to adoptive families helping them cover the high costs of adopting.

Visit our family blog at http://foraplace.blogspot.com to see pictures of all shirts and to place orders online.

STAMPIN’ UP! – (Holly Couch – all orders will be online or by email)

Online ordering available now through the end of November.

Email/Mail - 20% of all cash/check sales will be donated toward our adoption fund.

1.    View catalog online at www.stampinup.com

2.    Place order via email at hhcouch@gmail.com

3.    Holly will respond to your order with complete shipping/handlingand tax fees (as applicable) and give you a mailing address for payment.

Online - 10% of all online sales will be donated toward our adoption fund.

1.    Go to -www.stampinup.com

2.    Click on 'Store.'

3.    Set up an account and select HOLLY COUCH as your demonstrator.
To do this put HOLLY COUCH and state (TN) into the 'Demonstrator Directory' under
'Demonstrator Finder.'  

4.    Use the normal shopping basket to purchase items.

TASTEFULLY SIMPLE – (Renee Banner)

Online ordering available now.

10% of all November sales from the website will be donated to our adoption fund.

http://tastefullysimple.com/web/rbanner

If directed to find a consultant, search Renee Banner, in the state of Maryland.

THIRTY ONE GIFTS – (Susan Holsey)

Ordering link coming soon…

10% of online sales will be donated toward our adoption fund.

TUPPERWARE – (Dorthe Laurel)

Online ordering available now through early 2011.

20% of all orders will be donated to our adoption fund.

1.     Go to  http://www.facebook.com/l/bf36cnlZC7dCprIWXaVwOxSTT-Q;www.my2.tupperware.com/dorthe

2.    Place order online

3.    Send email to dorthe@rocketmail.com to let her know it was an order for our adoption fund.

UPPERCASE LIVING – (Jennifer Gash)

Online party open now through November 19.

A percentage of online orders will be donated to our fund.

1.     Go to  http://jenniferg.uppercaseliving.net

2.    Click the <PRODUCTS> tab on the top left corner

3.    Then on the top right (under my picture) click <Associate with Open House>and pick your Host (B Gash, Ultimate Girl's Night)!

4.    Shop!

A percentage of the sales at “The Ultimate Girl’s Night Out!” and a percentage of every party booked that night will be donated as well