Reality Check

In the course of collecting items to consign next week my house has been completely inundated with children's clothing.  Most of it very small.  And not all of it consignable.  I don't know if you know this or not, but not everything can be sold at a consignment sale.  To qualify items must be "high quality" and in "excellent" condition.  All fine and good.  I totally understand. I mean the whole point of the consigning world is to get one person's used-but-still-in-very-usable-condition belongings into another person's possession with the seller and consigning agent making a few bucks along the way.  No problem.  As a mother of four, soon to be five, I will be the first to say that it is a good deal.

So, the question arises, however, what do you do with the items you have that are not in "excellent" condition or would no longer be described as "high quality"?  And what about the clothes that are simply not the right season for the sale you are participating in?  And if you are collecting clothing from whomever is willing to donate to your cause, what do you do with their items that no longer meet these standards or seasonal needs?  Well, with the permission of those who donated, there are a few different options.

One option is to pull out whatever your family or any other family you know might be willing and able to wear and thus donate things further along.  I don't know about you, but a small little bleach mark or stain doesn't keep much off of my children.  I mean they are children who are actually going to wear the clothes and get them dirty.   I'm not too worried about a small mark that might be a precursor to what will come.  And as for the season thing, my husband will be the first to tell you I have bins of hand-me-downs (from our own kids and cousins..) just waiting for their day in the sun.  

A second option is to pull out whatever doesn't meet consigning standards but still meets Goodwill or Salvation Army standards and create a different "donate" pile.  These might be some of those wrong season items.  Or perhaps something has a small pindot stain or missing button.  Easy to fix needs that make the item "non-consignable" but perfectly usable in the thrift shop environment and thus donated to others to sell.

Another option might be a local clothing swap among friends.  This is a good use for those wrong-season clothes that meet the "high quality" and "excellent condition" requirements but can't be sold right now.  For me, this worked out well as my MOPS group is having a clothing swap this week and thus, after doing a bit of sorting, I have gotten these clothes ready for others to view and take to use as they can.  Another plus here is that the items in this category that don't get selected by a MOPS mom will be donated to Teen Challenge and thus still be put to good use.

And, of course, there will always be those items that are simply so far past their prime that they really just need to be put out of their misery and thrown away.  Probably not too many of those in a bag full of clothes someone donated to you, but a few might have gotten past the inspector general and come along for the ride.  For those items, you simply have to say farewell and move on to the rest of the stack.

But guess what.  There is yet another category of clothing that needs to be considered.  Take a boy's size 24 month summer romper for instance.  It is cute.  It is striped to look like a baseball uniform.  It has a cuddly little bear holding a ball and mitt on the lower left stomach area.  But right next to that bear is a quarter sized pink spot where it should be navy blue like the other side.  What do you do with that?  You don't have any children that small.  You don't know anyone with a son that size.  The pink bleach spot is a bit too big to really donate the item to the Salvation Army or take to a clothing swap.  But there is absolutely nothing else wrong with this adorable outfit and it just doesn't seem right to toss it in the trash.  So, what do you do?

Well, if you are me and take a moment to think you will realize that there is a marvelous lady named Mariah living in an orphanage on the far side of the world who might just re-purpose these clothes.  A woman who when asked tells you, "I am sorry but a small stain is not something we discard clothes for- when you are clothing close to 200 children that is not even close to an issue."  Now there, my friends, is a true reality check.

We are talking about clothes.  Clothes that are cute and springy and have a lot of wear left in them.  But in our American possession-oriented culture these clothes are considered undesirable and unworthy.  The majority of people would toss them aside, throw them in the trash, or maybe even cut them up for rags.  But in many other places these very same articles of clothing are coveted. And widely celebrated when received.  You see, it's not about the stains or the season.  It's about need.  Pure and simple.

We live in a very disposable society,  We renew our cell phones every couple years.  A sock gets a hole in it and we toss it in the trash.  We waste food at restaurants with no regard for those who are going to bed hungry at night.  We burn through paper towels and newspapers and water bottles and scores of other things never really thinking about any of it.  And yet there are hundreds, no thousands, no millions of children out there who have no idea what most of those things even are.  There existence is narrowed down to that one single word - need.

Now, I'm not trying to make some political, change-your-ways type of statement here.  And I am certainly not trying to blow my own horn for I am as guilty of all of these things as the next person.  But I do hope that maybe, just maybe, I make a little headway in educating people of the need.  I mean, really?  Clothing?  Clothing that people have given to me free, that I have sitting in my home desperately needing a place to go...  How simple is that?  And how easy to miss the opportunity.

If I didn't happen to know that wonderful woman living in that beautiful home of children, I may have simply decided to throw all these clothes away.  I might have simply taken the path of least resistance and tossed them in the trash.  And I guess that is my point in writing this.  To let you know - there is another option.  It is not just me that can help fill this simple clothing need because I happen to be collecting clothing to sell for an adoption fundraiser.  You could do it too.  It's easy.  Try visiting this website: Provide Needed Supplies.  It will give you a list of needed items needed for orphan care at Maria's Big House of Hope along with specific directions on how to donate them. If donating clothing isn't really in your realm of interest, perhaps you don't have small children or access to appropriate sizes, how about doing a bit of shopping for medical supplies.  Following that same link will provide a list of over-the-counter medical supplies that can be donated as well.

Or how about this - why not become a monthly Show Hope sponsor?  Check out the information at http://www.showhope.org/Donate.aspx.  With the simple commitment of $35 per month you can do your part to provide both adoption assistance and orphan care.  Don't want to commit to a monthly amount?  How about a one time donation?  By following the same link you can donate as little as $5 toward the areas "Most Urgently Needed."  Or maybe create an "Honorary Gift" donation.  Or perhaps you are in a position to be greatly generous and would care to donate toward funding an adoption or helping to fund a surgery.  You can use the same link to do that too.  The point is there are lots of ways to help.  And there are few reasons not to.  The real question is, are you ready to dive in?

That's a lot of clothes to just throw away...

  

The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for Me.’  Matthew 25:40

Blessings and Sadness

To say today has had its ups and downs would be an understatement.  Today has indeed had its ecstatic moments, but has also come with great heartache.  You see today I have received both the best news I could receive and some of the saddest news I could imagine.

On the good news front, I am very happy to report that our immigration application has finally been approved and we should receive the long awaited approval letter in two to three days.  This is FANTASTIC news!! 

Two weeks ago Dan called the USCIS office to ask about our file’s status and he was told that our application should be assigned to an agent on March 20.  Most of you know this because I immediately sent out the call for prayer as we really, really, really didn’t want to wait that long for anyone to look at our paperwork.  On Friday, prompted by an email from a dear fellow adopter, I phoned again and was told that applications were being processed 90 days out and that ours was getting very close to being assigned.  (Not sure what the 90 days out part meant, but was happy with the other information!) Actually, I believe the nice lady’s exact words were, “If you call back on Monday I suspect you will be told an adjudicator has been assigned.”  Well, this morning I called back and that is not what I was told.  Instead I was told that our file was APPROVED today.  Hurray!  As far as I am concerned this is just one more piece of evidence that prayer works. 

The funniest part is that I really didn’t believe the man who told me this.  I thought that I had misunderstood or perhaps he had misspoken.  I actually found myself saying, “Sooooo, we should expect our letter???” in a very unconvinced voice.  His response, however, was quick and sure as he said our official letter should go out in the mail today or tomorrow and we should have it in about three days.  Again, this is absolutely FANTASTIC news!  Far better than I expected and not even in the realm of consideration when I picked up the phone and dialed.  God is GOOD.  And apparently full of surprises. =)

But then there is the bad news too.  Just before I made this heart-cheering phone call I received news that one of the little girls I met at Maria’s Big House of Hope had passed away recently. This news literally broke my heart.  As I read the words and digested what they meant I couldn’t help but cry.  This was one of the absolutely most vibrant, fun-loving, beautiful little girls I have ever met.  She was never without a smile and although her physical abilities were limited by a body that was difficult for her brain to control she had more spunk than I can even begin to explain in writing.  To know her was to get a true glimpse of God’s glory.  And as happy as I am that she is now free from her earthly body’s restraints and sitting on the lap of her Heavenly Father, my heart aches that someone this young and full of life has left this world so soon and without ever knowing the love of an earthly mother and father.  I often hear people comment that a parent should never have to bury a child, but it is also true that a child should never be buried without knowing the love of a parent.  I truly believe that the angels danced at the young girl's arrival in heaven, but the world also lost a beautiful blessing as she passed away.  And that sadness is hard to shake.

On the brighter side, in a conversation with someone else who loved this young child I learned that two other little girls I met at Maria’s have new hope today.  One of these girls has been matched with a family for adoption and the second is in the process of being matched.  This, like my first news, is absolutely FANTASTIC!  To know that these little ones will soon have their moment of becoming one with a family is truly some of the best news imaginable.   

You see, these are older children we are speaking of.  Not old as the world uses the term, but old in the world of adoption.  Infants and toddlers are cute and cuddly and are far more likely to be chosen for adoption.  But older children, those past that initial stage of ”cuteness” but still as young as three, four and five see markedly less options for adoption as their birthdays pass by.   I am not one bit happy that Jack spent his fourth birthday in an orphanage on the other side of the world, or that he spent the three birthdays before that without a family either for that matter, but I do find some comfort in knowing that on his fifth birthday he will no longer be in an orphanage situation.  Instead he will be HOME.  And it brings me such great joy to know that these two other “older” children will celebrate their future birthdays in the arms of their families as well.

But that also brings back the sadness of today’s news of loss as I stop and ponder the birthdays that such a sweet little girl never experienced among family.  Yes, she spent much of her short life in the care of the New Hope Foundation and had loving, joy-filled days while she resided at Maria’s Big House, but even the best orphanage in the world is still an orphanage.  And no orphanage is the same as a home.  And no one deserves to die alone.

So where do I go from here?  Well, on the home front I will spend the next few days stalking my mail lady waiting for our envelope from USCIS to arrive.  Then it will be back to the world of notaries and certifications so that we can finally submit all of our necessary paperwork to our adoption agency and thus send our dossier off to China.  And each day I will continue to thank the Lord for connecting us to our son and for providing him with a loving family to grow old, really OLD, with.

And as for the bigger picture, I will continue to do my best to advocate for those children who do not have a family and who rely solely on us to advocate for them.  143 million orphans.  That’s a BIG number.  A hard number to comprehend.  And a very sad number if we are totally honest.  Yet it is this very number that we are called to “look after… in their distress.”  So I will do my best to do my part.  I will spread the story of those who passed into heaven too soon by our standards and without the loving arms of an earthly parent, and I will shout the names of those still here waiting for hope to find them.  Children like Judah and Isaac and Theo.  Children who are just waiting for a family to come and love them.  Children you can learn more about at http://blog.showhope.org/. 

And I will pray.  I will lift prayers of thanksgiving for having been one of the people blessed by spending just a few short days with one of God’s most beautiful creations before He took her home to His glory.  I will pray for a smooth and speedy process as we move each step closer to having Jack in our arms.  And I will pray for hope for the orphans of this world who are under our care that they may be loved and comforted and each one will find a forever family to grow truly old with.  And, finally, I will ask you to join me.  Yes, 143 million is a really daunting number, but in many ways it is just like the old starfish story.  Helping just one won’t save them all, but it is a matter of life and death to the one you just saved.

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.  James 1:27

I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.  Philippians 1:3-6

You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, that my glory may sing your praise and not be silent.  O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever!  Psalm 30:11-12