Maybe THIS Is What It's All About...

In a government run orphanage in Luoyang, China, is a little boy named Jack.  He is already matched for adoption with an American family, but the formalities seem to be taking forever.  Join me in praying for Jack and his new forever family, and praying for a speedy approval process.  Most of all, pray that God bless and watch over Jack until he can join his new family here in the US!  Thanks!

Yesterday a man I have never met in person made the above quote his facebook status.  Soon after a woman I have never met in person either did the exact same thing.  And then a few people I have met joined in.  Then, in addition to the status posts there were numerous comments being posted as well - some from friends, but many from people who have never met me and probably wouldn't know who I was if they did.  Encouraging comments, like...

Absolutely will :)

Praying!

Praying like crazy!!!!

My prayers for Jack join yours.

Praying now!

We will pray for speedy process for Jack!   

And later in the day when I copied the post to my own status I got the following response almost immediately...

"God must have been working this morning. This VERY thing was on my heart and I spent a great deal of time in prayer for you and Jack. I just kept praying that God prepare all of you for the transition and that HE allows Jack to feel so at home and at peace when he comes to live with you. That Jack currently feels and knows you as his family in his heart. My thoughts and prayers are there with you. ((HUGS))"

So, maybe, above absolutely everything else, this is what it's all about.  Getting the people of God to come together and be involved in the process.  Getting ourselves out of ourselves and in contact with the support groups that surround us.  Reaching out to God in His infinite wisdom and using the gift of prayer to address Him directly with our thoughts, desires and needs.  Just maybe He has brought us to this place so that we can fall on our knees and come to Him from where He has led us.

I have mentioned often that Jack is a well-known entity in the Show Hope community.  His face has been in newsletters and featured in blog posts, he is a favorite of many who have traveled to both the Hope Foster Home and Maria's Big House on mission trips, and I even have a jewelry catalog with his picture on the donate to Show Hope page.  He is no stranger to the cause of orphan-care awareness even if he doesn't know it yet.  So, maybe this all makes more sense than we realize.

How many people have been made aware of the plight of the orphan through our story and our adoption?  How many people have been made aware of Show Hope and Maria's Big House through our story and our adoption?  How many people have a bit more insight into the adoption process, the hoops and trials, the joys and celebrations now that they have started following our story and our adoption?  I don't even know the answer to that and I've been at the center of all the email updates, blog posts, facebook comments, fundraisers, etc.

So, maybe all of this really is what it's really all about.  Coming together, loving one another and sharing the marvelous love of our God and Creator as we present a united front in prayer to BRING JACK HOME!  As frustrating as each slow down has been, and as anxious as I am for the next piece of paper to arrive in the mail, how much more has the word been spread because of our need for prayers and the connections we  have made with others throughout the journey?  If all had been smooth sailing with no need to ask for help very few would have been involved in this miracle and very many would have missed out on Jack's phenomenal story.  For if there is anything to learn from this journey it is that we are all in this together.

So I will say it one more time - We give never-ending thanks for each of you who are and have been praying.  We appreciate your love and support more than you can imagine.  I know it may seem silly to seem so completely impatient in the midst seeing the hand of God at work, but perseverance is not the same as worry and prayers for progress are not the same as faithlessness.  God is good.  God has a plan.  I have absolutely no doubt about either of those things.  But bringing us all together seems to be His plan for now so I shall embrace those who choose to stand with us and pray, pray, pray alongside you for that blasted LOA!  =)

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:6-7

“Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” Matthew 18:19-20

Good Old Aussie Love!

This week we were fortunate to have two Aussie friends, Felicity and Merryn, visit our boy in his orphanage.  Both friends, whom I met last summer on my own trip to Maria's, are currently on the first Australian Mission Trip to Maria's Big House of Hope and as part of their time at Maria's they were privileged to tour the state run orphanage where Jack resides.  They had specifically asked their guide from Maria's, Mikey, if it was possible to visit with Jack so we were really hoping that the orphanage would allow it.  After their visit I got these two sweet updates via email...

From Merryn:
Seeing Jack was one of my highest hopes for this trip and my heart is warmed that I had an opportunity not just to see him through an open door, but to wrap my arms arounds him, plant kisses on his cheek, draw with him and tell him his mummy is coming soon. He was sitting at the drawing table so I picked up his crayon and drew a love heart on his page. I don't know if he identifies shapes or if he would understand what a love heart would mean, but it is my prayer that it communicated something of the love that envelopes his life.

He looked GOOD, Deb. He was a little stunned as a group of foreigners filled his preschool room, but he looked healthy. It did not take long for him to respond to the hugs Fe and I gave him as he leaned into the cuddle. And as we left he waved goodbye. We walked past his room later and he waved again, this time with a slight smile and more animation.

Remembering the reality that what we saw may not be indicative of "everyday" I took the opportunity to look at the photos around the room. There was a photo of Jack hugging another child and very clearly having a fun time. He has a smile on his face and was well dressed. If the photo showed anything of a typical day then in that moment he was having a good one.

From Felicity:
Well, today was a bitter sweet day.  We visited the place today and amongst the heartache, helplessness and hopelessness, we saw hope - we saw Jack!

Not only did we see him, I knelt down next to him, put my arms around him and gave him a beautiful hug. He was sitting at a table drawing with a red crayon. As soon as I got close to him, and put my head near his, he rested his sweet precious head against mine. He is beautiful Deb. You could tell he just loved the touch and the attention and it has truly been the highlight of my trip so far. Knowing he is there is tough, but knowing he is there and going home to you so very soon, is a beautiful, precious thing to hold onto. 

He didn't smile when we saw him the first time, and he had a pretty blank face, but I could tell he loved the touch and the interaction. We went into other rooms and then walked back past his room... all the other kids were waving goodbye but he had his back to us because his nanny had just given him a drink, but then he turned around and waved and gave Merryn and I a lovely smile before we left. It was precious Deb! We also saw a photo of him on the wall of him hugging another little boy and he had a beautiful smile on his face. He is doing well Deb. He looks provided for and healthy.

I think you can understand why these messages are such a blessing, but also so hard to read.  Several people have mentioned that it seems I am feeling down these days, but in truth it is not lowness of spirit but anxiousness of heart.  As much as my heart leaps with joy that I have so many friends who are able to visit with Jack and give him hugs and kisses and words of encouragement while we are still trapped here in a paperwork holding pattern, it also makes my heart absolutely ache for the day when I can wrap my own arms around him and kiss his cheeks - not once, not for a moment, not for a short little visit, but as much as I want any day that I want until he gets big enough to finally say, "Mom, stop!  You're embarrassing me!"  And then, of course, I will simply do it again.  =)

So, please don't worry about me.  But please do keep praying for Jack and our process.  Our day will come, when the Lord sees fit, but with as long as each day seems to me I can only imagine how long it must seem to Jack.

And just as a parting thought - one of the most uplifting thoughts conveyed to me in the above mentioned emails was this:

There are beautiful black and white pictures on the walls in the halls [of Maria's Big House of Hope] now, and Jack features in a few of them. Even though he is not here, he is here, and he is being prayed for as the staff and us walk past and see him and the other beautiful kids.

Jack will always be one of Maria's Kids.  And it more than lifts my spirit to know that he has people praying for him on both sides of the world.  Thank you for being just one of those people lifting prayers.

"I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now..."  Philippians 1:3-5

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching."  Hebrews 10:23-25

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Pioneer and Perfecter of faith."  Hebrews 12:1-2a

It’s Not Supposed To Be This Hard

**Let me preface this with a quick disclaimer.  Dan has been out of town almost all of the past week which has left me playing both mom and dad.  One of our daughters has reacted to this change in schedule by being even more hyper than usual and another has been pushing her limits and mom’s patience all week.  And I have been pushing myself physically to try to be ready to run (rather than walk) a 5K next Saturday.  So… yes, I am completely exhausted.  And yes I realize that a lot of what I am feeling tonight will compute much differently in the morning – more excitement coupled with much less jealousy – but that doesn’t change the way I feel right now and this is simply a document of right here and right now and that is a reaction to the events of the last few days.

This may or may not be a good thing to blog about, but if I am going to be honest and keep a true and accurate record of this journey, then I have to include this too.  You see tonight I am quite a bit excited, very much jealous, but above all sad.

Yesterday I had a Facebook friend share with me that while on a medical mission trip to Luoyang last week he had the chance to briefly visit Jack.  Due to restrictions at the orphanage he was unable to get us any new pictures, but he was able to give Jack a big hug for us and at least let us know that he is doing okay.  This news blessed and warmed my heart as it was good to get an updated report and know that at least someone has been able to love on our boy just a bit, but it also makes me miss him even more. 

Also, on Friday our wonderful friends who started their adoption process just two weeks before us received their travel approval from China and are at this moment gathering supplies and packing for their trip.  They will be leaving on Tuesday night to go pick up their daughter from the very orphanage Jack is living in right now – their Gotcha Day being at the end of this month.  Again, this blesses and warms my heart, but it also leaves me longing in the extreme for our days of travel.

In addition, just today two more adoption friends received their travel approval and will be traveling either with the above family or a couple weeks after to bring home two more precious children, one of which who is also at Jack’s orphanage.

To wrap things up even more, two of my wonderful Maria’s trip friends will leave their homes in Australia at the end of this week to head back to Maria’s on their second mission trip to China.   

So, as you can see… it seems like everyone is heading to China – Whoo Hoo!! EXCEPT ME. (and Dan)   =(     Understand the wide range of emotions now?

I can honestly say I am truly so very excited for all five of my friends who will be heading to Beijing over the next couple weeks and for those who just returned.  They are all traveling for such wonderful reasons and I know that God has placed them all in their journies just where He needs them.  But I can’t help but be just a wee bit jealous as we are still here waiting for our Letter of Approval.  28 days and counting... Half of me is jumping for joy for them, but the other half just wants to shout “It’s not fair!” 

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t begrudge anyone anything – every one of these people has worked hard and waited long to be where they are, but it’s not supposed to be this hard.  Yes, I am tired, but my heart is literally aching to reach out and be the one to give those hugs to Jack.  Why can’t he come home now?  Right now there is a little voice inside my head just screaming, “Hasn’t he done his time?  He is four years old!  He has lived in an orphanage long enough.  It is time for him to be HOME!!“  It is simply breaking my heart  to think that in the coming weeks so many beautiful children will be home with their families, tucked into their own cozy beds, while Jack spends yet another two months (at least) in a cold impersonal orphanage.  I have never been a fan of his being moved out of Maria Big House of Hope way back in December, but with all that is going on right now it makes it even worse.  And the thought has certainly not escaped me that my Aussie friends cannot even love on him for me because he isn’t at Maria’s anymore. Not to mention that until we get that LOA we can’t even expect an update from our agency.  It just doesn’t seem fair.

So, do I sound like an ungrateful brat?  Childish?  Immature?  Petty and jealous?  Are you wondering where all of that “God is Great!” unwavering faith has gone?  Well, have no fear, it is still here.  I have not lost my way, just my pep and enthusiasm.  I know deep down that everything happens for a reason and that God is ultimately in control.  As much as it sucks (sorry, but there is no better term for it) that our paperwork was delayed by so many stupid obstacles and we are now so far behind a family we started alongside, I do know that God has His reasons.  But I don’t believe having solid, unwavering faith means you can’t also be completely human and right now this is how I feel.  It is at times like this I truly wonder if it would be better to have not met him yet.  To have no memories of him sitting in my lap, of the sound of his laughter or the vision of his smile.  No pictures to pine after.  No friends sharing messages, memories and updates with me.  But then again the reality is I wouldn’t trade a single one of those things for all the tea in China. 

I love my adoption friends dearly and I am greatly blessed to have made so many new ones traveling parallel adoption paths.  Having gone down the adoption road twice before in almost complete isolation it is such a joy to share the journey with so many God-fearing families with such similar hearts this time.  I cannot be any more excited for them than I am and I would never wish a single unnecessary day in an orphanage on any child in this world, but that doesn't change the fact that I still want my son home.  And I still want him home NOW!  Fair enough?  I thought you might understand. 

So, yes, after a good night’s sleep tonight I’m sure I will be handling all of this better in the morning.  Things will not seem so overwhelming, my focus will be back on the prize not the struggle, but for right now I need to do what is right for me which is to let my heart grieve and my sorrow be real.  Tonight I will allow myself to dwell a bit in my self-pity, shed a few tears for our son and his current situation, and I will praise the Lord that even when things seem so dark and lonely He is still in control.  Although I can only see a small glimmer of His plan right now I know that “all things work together for good to those who love God” and I know that our family’s day is coming.

And I will leave you all with this...  Zài jiàn (good bye) my dear, dear traveling friends.  Màn zǒu (take care).  Yī lù shùn fēng (have a good trip) and may you be blessed beyond imagination.  I will pray for each of you each day of your journeys.  And for those of you who are returning a larger family than you begin, gōng xǐ (congratulations)！You have fought the good fight, and your race is all but run.  =)   Travel safe!  Wo ai ni!

再见！慢走。路顺风。恭喜！我爱你！

Chinese Proverb:    “Be not afraid of going slowly; be only afraid of standing still.”

“I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.”  John 14:18

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”  Proverbs 3:5-6

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”  Romans 8:28

Doing the Snoopy Dance!

We did it!  We made it!  Our wonderful, magnificent, all-powerful, and simply amazing Lord has provided us every dollar we need to fund our entire adoption!!  Hallelujah!  And yes, I really have been doing the Snoopy Dance.  Just ask the girls...I do believe Jolene thinks I'm crazy!  But I cannot help it, I am just SO excited!  (And little does she know I did the same dance when we got her adoption referral - ask my sister, she will vouch for me.)

Well, if you missed the five hundred announcements I've made everywhere else, here is the scoop...  We just received word on Friday that we have been awarded a $2000 grant from Show Hope.  After our great grant news last week, the yea or nay from the Show Hope grant department was kind of the last piece to our puzzle. An "I'm sorry" message would have been okay as we were already really close to covering all the costs, but would also have meant a good deal of number crunching to be done to determine just exactly how shy of the goal we were.  A "Congratulations" message of as little as $1000, however, would mean a definite coverage of our expenses and the freedom to relax and just enjoy the rest of the ride.  Truth be told, between this grant, last week’s grant, and the money we have raised through our fund-raisers we should easily be able to cover every remaining expense associated with Jack’s adoption.   Hurray!  Hurray! 

I cannot begin to fully express the miracle of this moment.  We began this journey back in September as a complete leap of faith.  We had not planned to adopt now, we had no financial plan to adopt now, and we really had no savings or budget to draw from to pay for adopting now.  But as you all know we jumped in anyway and we are SO GLAD we did.  With all of its ups and downs, delays and crazy interruptions, this journey has played out with more miracles and more “God moments” than we could ever have imagined.  We are SO lucky that God chose us to be the participants in this story!  And we are so excited that all of you have come along on the journey with us!  I've said it before and I'll say it again - Our God is an AWESOME God, and there is NOTHING He cannot do!!!!

And here is the even better part...  As much as we needed this last gift of funds to cross into adoption financial freedom, there is a slim possibility that we will end up not needing all of these funds as our current fee estimates may turn out to be too high.  But let me see if I can explain that for you.

Right now, based upon our April 18 Log-in Date, we are looking a potential travel window of mid-August to mid-October.  Obviously we are praying for August over October and happily earlier is actually more likely than later given the current dates being assigned by the Chinese government.  But here is the catch, if just one of our remaining hurdles is completed ahead of schedule and we are able to travel in the first few days of August our final adoption expenses could be approximately $2400 lower than our current estimate.  Why you ask?  Because China just changed their post-adoption regulations and the new rules go into effect for all families getting their Travel Approval, which is typically received 10-14 days prior to travel, on or after August 1, 2011.  So... if we travel as expected we will fall under the new regulations.  If we travel just a week or two earlier than expected we will beat this deadline and thus not fall under the new regulations. 

How does this save us money?  Well, the new regulations require four more post-adoption reports than the two currently required as well as putting a few more minor changes into place.  At a cost of $400 per report that difference adds up quickly.  Not to mention our agency has doubled the post-adoption deposit they require from each family to assure compliance with the report requirements.  In addition, our agency has also raised the processing/translation fees associated with these reports as they will now be processing a total of six reports per family rather than the currently required two reports.  Understandable expenses all, but they still add up quickly.  So, all this to say, if we can somehow be blessed with just a slight uptick in the processing timeline somewhere we could potentially travel a couple weeks earlier, avoid the higher fees, lower our actual adoption costs by about $2400 and thus have money left over at the end.  How about that for an amazing possibility?  Start with nothing, finish with extra and get to give money back.  Now THAT is a miracle I would LOOOOOVE to see!

Now, you have to understand me here.  Getting our Travel Approval before August 1st is not something that should happen.  All timelines out there place us traveling mid-August at the very earliest.  We have absolutely no reason to expect our paperwork to be completed on the China side in order for us to beat the clock and avoid the new regulations.  To put it simply, it would take a complete act of God for this to happen.  But since our expected dates are so very close to where they need to be and our God has done so many crazy-amazing things thus far, I for one am not willing to take it off the table.  Wouldn't it be totally cool if the whole reason God put all of those crazy delays in place during our journey this winter was so He could work His miracle magic here at the end and show His awesomeness once more?  I mean, it could happen, right?  If I have learned anything over the last several months it is this - God can do ANYTHING - so I am certainly not going to say He can't.

So I guess that leaves me here...  Counting how many days its been since our Log-In Date.  Counting the days that pass as we wait for our Letter of Approval.  Hoping that mountains will move so our Travel Approval will arrive before August 1st.  Dreaming of the day we will actually board a plane to Luoyang, China, whether it be in August, September, October.  And thanking the Lord daily for all that He has done and for all that He has yet to do.  Yes, we have the funds we need to complete this journey, but the adventure isn't over yet.  There are a lot of steps left for us to complete, but I am just excited as can be to see how they play out.  On one hand I feel like nothing would surprise me at this point, but on another hand I can't wait to see how He does.  =)   God is good, and His love endures forever!

It is good to give thanks to the Lord,
     to sing praises to the Most High.
It is good to proclaim Your unfailing love in the morning,
    Your faithfulness in the evening,
accompanied by the ten-stringed harp
     and the melody of the lyre.
You thrill me, Lord, with all You have done for me!
     I sing for joy because of what You have done.
O Lord, what great works You do! 
                                             Psalm 92: 1-5a

Where Do We Go From Here?

Okay, I know that I have done my fair share of whining when it comes to how long this whole adoption process has been taking and that in reality things have moved much faster than with either of our two earlier adoptions, but some days it just seems like a lifetime ago that I held our sweet boy in my arms while saying good-bye to Maria’s Big House of Hope.  Ugh!  

And I often wonder if it is more of a blessing or a curse to have actually met our adoptive child on the frontend and to have actual memories of spending time with him while waiting to be able to bring him home.  It just doesn’t seem right that we are here ready and waiting while he is still stuck in an orphanage alone.  Why can’t things just be quick and simple?  And why can’t paperwork be processed while our child is at home with us surrounded by his family and tucked securely in his own bed in his pirate themed bedroom across from his little sister?  In reality I know that as much as I wish things could actually work this way it is never going to happen, but that doesn’t keep my mother’s heart from simply wishing time would go by faster and that we would be stepping off a plane in Luoyang City tomorrow rather than four or five months from now.  But then days like today remind me of just how fast this process actually is happening and I can't help but be thankful.

Back in January we applied for an adoption grant that we hoped would help offset some of the extreme financial commitment of this adoption.  A short time later we applied for a second grant with the same mindset and goal.  As you may remember, we began this journey with extremely little personal resources to draw from and have been working hard to budget and fund-raise all of the needed dollars to accomplish this journey while remaining debt free.  That said, any grant of any size would obviously help us in this endeavor.

Since applying for both of these grants we have prayed consistently and waited patiently to hear a response.  Ironically, although applied for months apart both applications seem to have fallen into review along the same timeline.  As we continue to wait and pray for the results of our first application, we were notified this past Friday that the second application was recently approved and we were subsequently awarded an adoption grant of $15,000… with the check already in the mail to our adoption agency.  Praise the Lord, this is an enormous blessing!!

After consulting with the giving organization and our adoption agency we have determined that this grant will cover all of our remaining agency fees, both of our Chinese Visa fees, most of Jack’s Entry Visa fee, a large portion of our domestic and international airfare, all of our in-country Chinese travel and hotel expenses, as well as our orphanage fee.  Again, I cannot emphasize enough that this is absolutely fantastic news!  Praise be to God!  On Friday morning we awoke trusting that the Lord would provide the money we still needed to pay all of the fees associated with Jack’s adoption.  On Friday night we went to bed awestruck by how God had once again worked a miracle in our journey and in just one short email had set us thousands of dollars closer to accomplishing our goal and bringing Jack home.

And that brings me back to today.  Every Monday I write an update email letting people know what has happened in our journey since the prior Monday.  As I wrote today’s update I couldn’t help but notice, and be a bit overwhelmed by, just how quickly things have actually come together.  Do you realize I boarded a plane to Chicago to meet up with the First Ever Show Hope Sponsor Team on my way to Maria’s Big House less than nine months ago?  And it was just eight months ago that I finally stopped letting Satan pester me with doubt and followed Dan’s lead to jump into this adoption thing with full faith that if it was God’s will He would provide.  And it was just seven months ago that we attended our homestudy orientation meeting and launched our first round of fund-raising with a Virtual Bake Sale and the beginning of Show Hope t-shirt sales?  Seven months, that’s it!  And here we are today on the very brink of having every dollar needed to pay for every cost of this entire endeavor and none of our uncles had to strike it rich and die for us to do it.  When you look at it from this perspective it seems like such a short amount of time.   What an amazing testament of what God can do.  Honestly, He will never cease to amaze me!

So the real question at this point is - what now?  Where do we go from here?  We actually spent all weekend tossing these questions back and forth and crunching numbers to figure out exactly where we stand.  As I listed the items above that this significant grant will cover, there is also a short list of things it will not.  The biggest outstanding costs seem to be the balance of our airfare and our post adoption reports.  Assuming our travel dates come as predicted they will put us under a new set of Chinese regulations going into effect August 1 so these two things together will most likely total somewhere in the realm of $3000.  There are also a few smaller in-country China fees that may or may not be covered by this grant depending upon how estimated numbers play out in reality.  But even here we are close enough to feel comfortable with the numbers and our ability to cover any shortage while we await travel approval over the next several months.  And if our second grant application comes through with any sort of support provided we should be able to shout from the rooftops that we have conquered the financial aspects of the journey God put before us, paid in full with time to spare!

So I guess the question remains – Where do we go from here?  Or perhaps better put, what do we pray for now?  Well, first and foremost we raise prayers of thanksgiving for the miraculous provisions from God our heavenly Father.  And we stand fast in our prayers and conviction that He will continue to provide for all our needs so that we can finish this race strong and provide an incredible testimony to God’s faithfulness so that others may see what He has done.  And we will pray for speed of process as we wait for the final paperwork hurdles to come and go over the next few months.  We now live in a world of timelines that are completely out of our control as the Chinese government reviews our paperwork and issues the needed forms and approvals for us to move forward.  We have estimated timeframes for each of these steps, but there are always exceptions to each rule and we will continue to pray that we might be found within those exceptions and our paperwork might move forward faster than is typical so that we might see our little boy face-to-face as quickly as we can.

And I think beyond that we just smile.  We stepped into this thing trusting the Lord and His guidance and here we are nine months later with a mountain of proof He has guided.  You would think after a while I would learn to expect great things, and yet I am constantly amazed at how God sends down His blessings in ways we cannot predict or imagine.  Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised.  Alleluia!

"Do not worry then, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear for clothing?'  For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.  But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."  Matthew 6:31-33

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:6-7

"And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:19

Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow;
Praise Him, all creatures here below;
Praise Him above, ye heav’nly host;
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

-Doxology

Anybody Want To Buy An Ultrasound Machine With Me?

A little over a week ago I received an email from a friend in China with a newspaper article attached.  I honestly have no idea what the article says or is even about, but I do know that the picture printed with the article contains the face of one little boy our household just loves – Jack!  Needless to say, I was thrilled to see the picture as we have not received an update or new photos from the orphanage since January 7 (but who’s keeping track? Ha!), but I was intrigued by the fact the email’s subject line read “Re:  Ultrasound”.  I couldn’t figure out why this particular friend would send me an email about an ultrasound.  So, being purely human, I started scrolling down to figure things out.

It did not take me long to see that the email I had received was actually the last of an email conversation between my friend and another person there in China.  The earlier conversation had revolved around the need for a portable ultrasound machine at the orphanage Jack resides at, as well as a few others in the province, and had ended with the other individual letting my friend know about the newspaper article that had ultimately been forwarded to me.  Thus the subject line.

Well, you know me.  Once I see something that needs to be done I can’t do much else but try to figure out how to get it accomplished.  The general gist of the ultrasound communication was that the orphanages were really in need of the portable ultrasound equipment and apparently Show Hope was hoping to help with the acquisition of one.  It didn’t seem that this was a project that had been completed, but sounded more as if it was “in the works.”  Included in the emails, however, was a general pricing idea of the desired ultrasound and let’s just say it was more than just a few thousand dollars.  A definite need, but a definite pricey proposition as well.   So, this whole ultrasound thing really had nothing to do with me except that the information had wound up in my inbox and I could not shake the feeling that it had wound up there for a reason. 

As I went about my to-do list for the day, I simply couldn’t put it out of my mind so when I got to the point on my list that read “fund-raising tithe” an idea popped into my head.  As most of you know, it has been our commitment from the beginning to tithe 10% of all money we raise through our adoption fund-raising efforts to Show Hope.  I don’t say that to brag in any way, but we have been very open about this fact and feel very strongly that God directs us each to return the first fruits of any of our labors to Him.  That said, I had some money in our adoption account from the consignment sale and various other recent deposits that needed be forwarded along.  I typically work with the same two people at Show Hope when sending money to determine if there is a particular need at that time or if the money should simply be designated for where it is most needed.  This particular day I decided to see if there was a way to help out with the potential ultrasound project.  Keep in mind I really didn’t even know if the project really existed or was just conversation, but I simply couldn’t shake it from my mind so I had to ask.

What I quickly found out was that there truly was a pending portable ultrasound machine in the works as a result of a grant that Show Hope had received.  My question as to whether our forthcoming check could be credited toward that project, however, was a bit harder to answer as it was not an offer to underwrite the entire expense but merely a two hundred or so dollar donation toward the effort.  Before my contact at Show Hope could assure me that our check would be easily put toward the machine she wanted to check with the finance people to be sure we wouldn’t be creating confusion down the line in any way.  That was fine with me, of course, so I went about waiting for an answer to my query. 

What I also learned along the way, however, was that due to the grant Show Hope had received in relation to the machine desired, the entire cost of the project was $2000.  Yep, $2000!  A mere fraction of the actual sticker price of such a machine.  I also learned that the project really wasn’t open to public knowledge or involvement so it was somewhat secret in that way.  Needless to say, I found this entire situation absolutely incredible.  I believe my exact response to the actual cost was “That is CRAZY!  Crazy – amazing that is!”  And I should probably mention here as well that I kinda said I wished it wasn’t a secret because I would gladly shout the need from the mountaintops and raise the two thousand dollars needed to cover the entire affair.  Guess I’m not too good at keeping secrets, huh?

Well, as you probably all know at this point, the answer to that last question is a big fat NO.  I did not keep the secret, but what I did do was create a new one.  I did  not receive a quick response to whether our tithing check could be easily credited toward this project, but I was somewhat glad that I did not.  What I did receive was a later email sharing that the project wasn’t so much a secret as just something being undertaken off the radar as to not pull resources or focus away from the major aspects of long-term, sustained support for Show Hope as a whole.  In my world, the one where I could just feel God telling me He let me in on this for a reason, that was all I needed to hear in order to feel comfortable shouting from those mountaintops.  Okay, whispering from the mountaintops so that Show Hope wouldn’t know what I was doing and would thus be surprised later – but you get the idea.   =)

So, there it was.  A need, a passion and a little bit of permission.  I told Dan that evening that I really wanted to come up with all of the money needed to pay for this machine and he was fully behind my efforts.  He exact response was, “I know you do.  I say:  Go for it!”  So I did!.  With a whole lot of excitement and more than a little prayer, mind you.  =)

I sent out an email to all of my Monday adoption update recipients minus those who work for or were spending the weekend with Show Hope.  (This was the same time that Show Hope was putting together their Cinderella event so a few of my email folks were literally spending the weekend with Show Hope.)  I also posted a message to several Jack-adoption supporting non-Monday updaters through facebook.  I really wanted this to be a surprise so I was trying to keep things quiet while still getting the word out.  My idea was to collect the money without telling anyone on the Show Hope end.  Then, when I sent in the tithing check I had already spoken with them about, I would simply send in all of the money rather than a small portion of it and let them be surprised when the envelope was opened and the full amount revealed.  My challenge – come up with the money in just ten days so that I could mail the money envelope in a timely fashion in relation to the conversation I had already started about the money.  Dan and I pledged to begin the collection with a check for $250; that left us with $1750 to collect in just 10 days.

The first day I had a couple of people reply that they would be putting a check in the mail or had a bit of cash to drop by.  This, to me, was quite the promising beginning.  After two days I had collected $150.  By day six our total was up to $869.  By the end of day seven we sat at $1114.  After checking our mailbox on day eight, our total had risen to $1369 and I felt it was time for one more plea for help.  I send out another mass message letting people know that we were only $631 short of our goal, and had only two days left to collect.  Then I said about fifty-five more prayers for success, faith and patience.  Next, I sent out another message through facebook, this time reading “Letting go.  Trusting God.”  Then I walked away from my computer and vowed not to look at it again for several hours.

When I finally returned to my email a few hours later I was stunned with what I found.  I had two emails.  The first was from a woman stating that she was putting a check in the mail for $250.  I couldn’t believe it, now we were just $381 shy of the prize.  After responding to this message with a huge thank you, I opened the second email and was further stunned.  This time the message was that a check for $300 had also just been mailed.  In just a matter of hours our shortfall had dropped from $631 all the way down to $81!  And the miracles weren’t over yet.  At approximately 5 pm that evening I walked past my computer and noticed that I had a new message in my inbox.  This time it was a pending donation from our PayPal account connected with this blog site.  The donation was for $100 which put us over the top and sealed the deal.  We could officially surprise Show Hope with not only $2000, but with a few extra dollars as well.  I could hardly control myself I was so excited!!

Well, to be perfectly honest, I must admit to all that I couldn’t keep this secret either.  This all occurred by Thursday evening and I simply could not wait until Monday to mail off the money and then wait even longer while the envelope made its way to Tennessee to let Show Hope know what had been accomplished.  I had to tell!  I simply had to tell.  So I did.  By the time I got ready to spill the beans it was after office hours on Thursday night so I sent out an email letting my contact know that not only would we be sending the original amount I had quoted, but we would also be sending the additional funds needed to cover the full amount needed.  The response, as you would expect, was one of surprise but great pleasure.  I quickly explained where the money had came from and also voiced my hopes that I would not be blacklisted somehow for sneaking around.  I think I am okay in that regard, but I guess that still remains to be seen.  =) 

And now I just have to wait until tomorrow to get the last couple checks in the mail and put together the entire package for mailing.  Hurray!

So, what have I learned in all of this?  Well, I guess I have simply been encouraged again to follow my heart and jump when God says "Jump!".  There is absolutely no way I could have collected $2000 in just eight days without the help of our Heavenly Father.  Believe me, I know, I’m the crazy fund-raising lady, remember.  But collect $2000 I did, and I am forever grateful to each and every person who helped bring this together.  Yes, my last few donations were sizeable ones, but I had many smaller donations as well and the total would not be what it is without every dollar contributed from those with Show Hope ties and those without.  I cannot truly begin to express how much I appreciate the prayers and support of each person standing with me to close this gap.  God is GOOD and His love endures forever!!

I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe Him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated Him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms.  Ephesians 1:19-20.

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good,
   for His steadfast love endures forever.
Give thanks to the God of gods,
   for His steadfast love endures forever.
Give thanks to the Lord of lords,
   for His steadfast love endures forever

                                             Psalm 136:1-3

The Fund-Raising Phenomenon

Warning – This one is pretty long and it will most likely offend somebody.  Don't say you weren't warned...

So apparently my friend and I both opened up the same can of worms the other day and are right now really glad that God had us do it together.  Well, I’m not sure “together” is the right word as we are in completely different states and opened the cans in completely different areas of our lives for completely different reasons, but we’re together in analyzing the responses to said cans so I’m going to stick with TOGETHER after all.  Did you follow that?   No?  Yes?  Maybe I should explain?

Okay, here’s the deal.  Apparently fund-raising for an adoption can be seen as both good and bad.  In my world, I think it is good.  It helps the family, it helps the child, it helps the church be involved with the family and child, it fulfills God’s directive to care for orphans in their distress all while supporting our brothers and sisters in Christ.  But I seriously doubt that my opinion or views on this topic would surprise anyone at this point so let me share some of the other side. 

I won’t go as far as to say that some feel adoption fund-raising is “taboo”, it just seems that there are many out there who feel that the financial burdens of an adoption are part of the commitment to adopting in the first place and thus the responsibility to bear such burdens falls upon the shoulders of the adopters.   This would mean paying for fees out of your personal bank accounts, taking out loans, applying for grants, using credit where necessary, etc.  And it is not so much that there is bad blood between people with these differing views, but more of a “you’re not living up to your responsibilities” kinda vibe coming from the do-it-yourself group if that makes sense.

Now, let me put a quick disclaimer in here and say that in no way are these two groups inclusive of all those with views on adoption, nor do people fall definitively within one category.  There are several shades of gray here and many people who see both sides of the coin, as well as the situational impact which is different for every single adoption.  This is our third time on this ride and each one has been very different, so please don’t think that I am speaking in absolutes.   I’m just trying to work through the experiences that my friend and I have had these past couple weeks.

So, let’s get back to those worms.  My friend’s family is currently in the end-stages of an international adoption.  They are waiting for their final paperwork from China which should be quickly followed by their travel dates and their actual trip to bring home their sweet little girl.  This family, like ours, is still currently many thousands of dollars shy of having their adoption paid in full and thus are working tirelessly to raise the remaining money they need.  Due to some extenuating health issues my friend’s out-and-about possibilities have been quite limited lately so she decided to turn to Twitter to help get the word out.  Many people have been very responsive and supportive through this effort, but she has also faced a good deal of criticism for fund-raising for adoption expenses.

In my own little world, after a great weekend with a group of friends from Show Hope, I found myself wanting to compile a list of fund-raising ideas that could be shared with other waiting families to help with their adoption expenses.  There are hundreds of families applying to Show Hope for adoption grants and many of those families are also curious about other things they might do to cover the costs.  So, in an effort to start this list I sent out a request to all of my adoptive-family friends simply asking what, if any, fund-raisers they did while in the process of adopting.  My question was answered by many and I was frankly a little bit shocked by the varying attitudes toward fund-raising that were revealed as a part of that survey.

I feel like I need to put in another disclaimer here.  Both my friend’s family and ours feel 100% sure, without the shadow of a doubt, that we have been called by God to bring the child we are adopting into our families as this child has been ordained by God to be a member of our family.  We also feel 100% sure, without a shadow of a doubt, that God has not called our families to incur substantial financial hardship as a result of His direction.  And that is why we are fund-raising rather than emptying our savings (which wouldn’t be enough in our case anyway), choosing to pull out a credit card or march down to the bank for a loan.  We don’t begrudge anyone who has chosen to do things differently I am again just trying to process information here.

I cannot speak for the other family as I am not privy (nor do I want to be) to their bank account balance or credit card payments, but I can tell you for my own household we are a debt free home, living on a calculated monthly budget, working to build up our emergency savings account while paying our bills on time, saving for future known expenses, and making the tough choices each month about what we will and will not do in order to remain debt free and move closer to financial security for our family’s future.  And through all of this adoption journey we do not hear God’s voice telling us, “Take a huge step backward.  Go into debt and cripple your monthly budget for the next several years to pay back that debt so that you can bring Jack home.”  Now, will we take on debt if the time comes to travel and we are still short of funds?  Yes, we are prepared to face that situation if it arrives, but we are also praying that things will not come to that.  We truly believe and trust that God has brought us safely thus far in this journey and He will complete what He has begun as long as we are faithful in our purpose.   

So, I just have to say that I really don’t see the issue against fund-raising.  If I had access to $27,000 of our own family’s money would I use it?  Absolutely!  I would certainly use our own money if I could and not ask others to help us cover the fees required for our adoption.  But I don’t have that kind of money, nor do the vast majority of people that I know.  So that leaves the average adoptive family to cover the cost in some way and either you go into debt to acquire the money or you get it from other people who don’t expect you to pay it back.  I suppose selling off all of your worldly possessions might be a possibility here as well, but I really don’t see anyone jumping at that as a truly viable option.

It just seems a bit ironic to me that in some ways applying for a grant is more “acceptable” than fund-raising.  Why is that?  How is it better to ask someone to simply hand you the money rather than to offer a service in return for the money someone is willing to share with you?  Whatever happened to good old, hard work and elbow grease?  Why is “free” money more acceptable than “worked for” money?  Now, don’t get me wrong, we’ve applied for grants along the way too – twice in just this adoption – and I have nothing against the grant process, but why is that route viewed as more justified than working for the money you need?

And then there is the whole debt thing.  How is it better to incur debt to reach a financial goal than to ask others to share the burden with you, again in return for providing goods or a service?  I know so many families striving to be debt free, working hard to stay debt free, or living with happy, peaceful hearts because they are debt free – why ruin that if you don’t have to?  And what about the families that aren’t debt free?  The families that already have credit cards or loans to pay off.  Does it make sense for them to take on more debt out of some sort of socially-advanced it’s-your-responsibility peer pressure myth?   I don’t think so.  Romans 13:8 addresses debt by stating, “Let no debt remain outstanding except the continuing debt to love one another…”  It is not God’s intention for anyone to suffer under the weight of debt, this is clearly addressed in both the Old and New Testaments, so why do people think He would provide a family with a path to a child without providing the means to complete the journey without financial strife?

Now I am not saying that every adoptive family should or can accomplish the task of adopting without any lingering expenses or debt.  I am realistic enough to know that this is not realistic.  We came out of Jolene’s adoption right where we started, but we were not so lucky with Becca’s and I am okay with that. And I am certainly not trying to imply that God will make every path smooth as silk as long as you are “faithful”, for that is not promised either.  But I do believe that God is faithful, and I do believe that adoption is God-ordained and that He does not direct us in ways that He will not lead.  And I also believe that if the church is to truly know His heart, it must open itself to the needs of its people.  Adoption is not supposed to take place in isolation.  Adoption is God’s calling for His people and for those who are not called to be the adoptive family, where does this leave them?  In my opinion, it leaves them as the support team.  And how do you support if you are of the opinion an adoptive family is on its own and responsible for its own journey?  Wouldn’t it make more sense for the support team to be actively involved with the process?  Isn't that what is meant when we are encourage to "carry other's burdens" (Gal. 6:2) and reminded that "two are better than one" (Eph 4:9)?

I don’t know, perhaps this is a silly thing to write about.  Perhaps no one will ever even read this last paragraph because everyone stopped reading five minutes ago.  But perhaps just one person will read this all the way through and understand what I am trying to say.  And maybe that one person will see that even though a person may not be in the process of adopting he or she can still play an active roll in the process for someone else by helping them address the astronomical cost of the adoption process – trust me, there is no shortage of families out there in need. And as a very wise woman put it earlier this week, "we should ALL be supporting someone's adoption every month as a part of our normal budget...it's kinda in the Bible!" 

"Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2

"Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers." Galatians 6:10

"Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from His love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others."  Philippians 2:1-4

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:  If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up."  Ecclesiastes 4:9-10