And the Winners Are!!

A big thank you to all who participated in the "Journey to Jack - Great Mileage Give-Away"!  Thanks to your generosity we were able to raise $1035.  Hurray!  That is a great start to covering our travel expenses.  Yeah!

That said, here is the good news...

Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace Jr. w/ kid’s 6 book series - 

     The winner is CRYSTAL AYALA

Autographed Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover AND Act Your Wage game - 

     The winner is MELINDA DERAS

Coby SNAPP Swivel Camcorder - 

     The winner is CHRISTINA SCHILLER

Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University Membership Kit - 

     The winner is AMANDA THETFORD

Sony 7” Portable DVD Player - 

     The winner is JANIE VANCE

BONUS DRAWING for $50 Target Gift Card - 

     The winner is SHELLEY CONDREN

Congratulations to all of our winners!

We would like to say again just how much we appreciate everyone's support in this journey - be it financial, emotional or prayerful.  We embarked on this journey as a huge step of faith and God continues to provide for us in miraculous ways.  If you have been along for the ride at all, then you too are part of the miracle.  Thanks for traveling with us.   I can't imagine what He has in store for us next!

Therefore do not be anxious, saying, "What shall we eat?" or "What shall we drink?" or "What shall we wear?"  For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.  But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.                  Matthew 6:30-33

I Am a Dork, But God Loves Me Anyway

For those who saw my facebook post earlier this afternoon (and those who didn’t…) here is the full story of today’s miracle money.

About 10 o’clock this morning I was sitting in my car in the church parking lot filling out some requested paperwork for the church office.  It was supposed to be 20 degrees feeling like 16 today so I didn’t want to go through the hassle of taking everyone in and out of the car, thus I ran in the office, grabbed the paper I needed to complete, and went back out to the car to fill in the blanks.  Anyway, while we were sitting there in the car my phone rang.  I looked at the 931 area code and was surprised to see that one of our friends from Tennessee must be calling.  When I answered the phone I was even more surprised.  The woman on the other end of the phone quickly introduced herself, said she was calling from Six Seeds TV and asked if I remembered entering a contest to win $2000.  Taken back a bit I answered “yes”, even though the memory was very vague and I really had no idea what she was talking about.  She then went on to tell me that we had won.  It took me a second to realize what exactly it was she was telling me, and then I think I said something totally stupid like, “Wow! Thanks!”  Like I said in the title, I am a dork.  Ha! 

Well, apparently I really did enter a contest to win $2000 towards our adoption costs.  Remembering just bits of this, I came home and found the contest thanks to the search box at Six Seeds and even found the dumb little comment I had submitted.  (A comment that makes it even more incredible that we won, mind you.)  The deal was you logged onto their website, left a comment after the contest information and then a winner would be selected from among all the comments left.  Obviously this winner was chosen randomly and not based upon the comment, mind you, as all I wrote was “thank you for this opportunity” versus some other people explaining exactly where they were in the process, where they were adopting from, the name or age of their child, etc.  Once again, I feel the dork title might fit here as well.  If I had only known then…

The most ironic part of this is that even now that I remember entering, I don’t really remember how I found out about the contest.  I have looked back through some things and figured out that I originally got linked up with Six Seeds information when Show Hope encouraged people to comment on a different article on the website – for that article every comment left resulted in a $2 donation from Six Seeds to Show Hope.  I remember doing that.  And after that I guess I started getting Six Seeds updates via email.  I suppose it was one of those emails that shared the invitation for this contest, so I guess that is how this started. 

Anyway, back to today’s excitement.  Apparently the woman who called me this morning has been trying to inform me of our winning status via email for a couple of weeks now.  I don’t know how I missed these, but somehow I have.  I vaguely remember seeing something saying “I’ve been trying to contact you about your winning…” but I know I thought it was spam as for some reason I receive “winning status” emails quite often in my mother-in-law’s name and I just delete them.  I am sure I saw the word winner and hit the spam button on that one.  The original emails, however, no idea.  Absolutely no memory.  Luckily this woman hunted us down.  She told me that her editor had told her yesterday that if she couldn’t contact us soon they should probably select another winner.  Aahhh!!  We almost lost our fantastic blessing!!  The good news here is that this woman happens to be friends with someone at Show Hope who recognized our name and provided her my cell phone number.  Talk about a small world!  And a grateful cell phone owner!!  I have never loved my little non-texting, no picture sending device any more than right now.  :)

So, here we are.  In this short conversation this morning we were told we are now $2000 closer to having Jack home, and now I get to go back and change some numbers on the grant application I’m working on – stating now that our need is $2000 less than it was yesterday.  Is there a better change to make to such a piece of paper?  I think not!  And, really, how can you beat that?  God never ceases to amaze me.

After all of this took place this morning a friend of ours at Dan’s office said to me, “You must be really nice or praying a lot.”  I would like to think we are really nice, but I can guarantee we are praying a lot.  And that a lot of other people are too - thank YOU, very much.  So, although I am a total dork who couldn’t seem to figure out emails I was receiving meant we had won a $2000 contest – God loves me anyway and He found a way to reach us despite my shortcoming.  Hurray for that!

Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good.
            His love endures forever.  (Psalm 136:1)

So, How Was Your Friday?

When I came downstairs at 7:15 Friday morning, the first thing I did was send off two emails.  The first went to CCAI telling them that Dan's long awaited Nebraska child abuse clearance should have been faxed to our social worker on Thursday and giving them a heads up I would really like our approval letter to be sent out today.  The second was to our social worker nicely stating that I hoped our Nebraska clearance form had actually reached her office by now and that I really, really wanted our home study finalized and in the mail before the end of the business day.  Then, I waited…  Well, actually I fed four hungry children breakfast, walked Jolene to school, unloaded the dishwasher, walked 4 miles in my living room, and planned out the order in which I needed to bake the many items I was making for Sunday’s fund-raiser bake sale.

Sometime just before 10 o’clock, while I was using my living room as a treadmill, I received an email from our social worker stating that she had indeed received the Nebraska clearance on Thursday afternoon and she would be able to finalize the home study as soon as she put in the receipt date.  The email also stated that she would put the copies I needed in the mail today unless I wanted to drive out and pick them up.  Wow!  I hadn’t even thought about that, but picking them up rather than having them mailed sure sounded good to me.  We live in Maryland and our social worker’s office is in Virginia, about an hour away, so this would mean a major change of daily plans, but it was definitely doable.

I quickly picked up the phone and called to ask if our social worker had spoken with CCAI regarding the certificate of completion we needed from them for our home study to move on to the next step of the process and she had not done so yet.  Given all of the hold ups in the process so far, I quickly volunteered to do the calling and handle that aspect.  (Control-freak, I know, but come on, this has been going on for a month now!!)   I promptly called CCAI, spoke with the head of the home study department and verified that our social worker needed to send a final copy of the home study (meaning stick in that Nebraska receipt date and hit send) and then the approval letter would be sent out.  I then called our social worker back, shared the news, and learned she was doing this task as we spoke.  Yeah!  No more waiting!  The light at the end of the tunnel was so bright it was blinding me.  Or so I thought… you’d think I’d learn, wouldn’t you?

Anyway, by this time it was almost 10:30 and I had already made plans to drive to church – the opposite direction from Virginia, of course – to pick up bake sale items for Sunday so I had to do that first.  And my usual go-there-if-we’re-not-home neighbor had left earlier in the day for New York so I was going to have to pull Jolene out of school to go with us in case we didn’t get back before school let out.  And I had to feed everyone lunch.  And, if I wanted to really get this job done right, I needed to print out our I-800A form (for immigration) and go by Dan’s work and have him sign it all before we left base so that once I had the home study in my hand I could head straight for the post office and get things on their way to the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration offices in Texas.   And I needed to do all of this before people got off work and the Friday afternoon traffic wave hit the Capital Beltway we would be driving through D.C.   And we needed to be home by 5:30 so that we could make it to Sophie and Becca’s end of session “Art Show” on time.  No problem, right?  Sure!

Well, I must be honest, the next couple hours were a bit of a whirlwind, but we got it done.  We picked up the bake sale items and quickly returned home.  We then walked over to Jolene’s school to check her out for the day.  (Crazy to walk when it was 30 degrees out, but my goal was to let the twins run a bit since they would be in the car for a long time.  Plus, I wanted to tire them all out.)  We returned home and I quickly made cheese and olive quesadillas for lunch, as requested earlier in the day by my lovers of ZeFronk.  Then, as the girls ate their lunch, I filled in all the little blanks on the I-800A form, printed out the necessary paperwork, checked and rechecked (and rechecked) the stack of papers that needed to be mailed to Texas, and called my loving husband to inform him he needed to meet me outside in the parking lot in about 10 minutes.  Ready, set, go!

By one o’clock, the time I had told our social worker I would aim to arrive in Virginia – ha!, I had everyone fed, pottied, settled in the car with pillows for naptime and was pulling out of the garage.  First stop, gas station – where, of course, we chose the lane behind the woman who had obviously never pumped gas before in her life and had to scan her card and type her information three times!  Second stop, Dan’s office - where he met us outside and signed his name through the window of my car several times.  Third stop, McClean, Virginia!  Luckily, traffic was not bad and we arrived at our social worker’s office at about 2:15.  I quickly woke up my sleeping beauties, buttoned up coats, and herded everyone across the parking lot and into the elevator.  Whew, we made it!

And then I got the news.  Yes, I had said I would be there at one.  Yes, it was now after two.  No, the paperwork was not ready for me to pick up.  Yes, our social worker had spoken with the home study representative from CCAI.  Yes, CCAI was going to send the approval letter we needed.  No, the letter was not there yet because CCAI had just called to confirm things so we were going to have to wait.  Okay, deep breath.  It was coming, all would be fine.  We just needed to wait a few minutes.  We could do that.  I mean, we’d made it this far right?  What was a few more minutes?

Well, let me try to paint the scene for you…   The waiting area at the Virginia America World Adoption office is about 10 by 20 feet.  Approximately one-third of that space is occupied by a desk, book shelf and receptionist.  Another few square feet are currently filled with a fully decorated Christmas tree.  That leaves the other half of the space available to host two small couches and a corner table covered with brochures, books and a couple of toys.  All together a nicely decorated and welcoming space, but not really very conducive to housing four children who have been in the car for an hour and their waiting mother (who brought nothing in from the car because she thought this would be quick) for what could potential be far more than a five minute wait.  So, what happened?  Our social worker quickly assessed the scene and suggested that we actually leave the office, take the elevator to the bottom floor of the building and wait in the atrium area where there is a much larger waiting space.  Okay, sounds good.

 

So that is what we did. We went downstairs and waited.  And waited.  And waited.  After the first twenty minutes I started to realize the problems with this plan.  The girls were being great, they were quietly drawing and being very patient, but I had no way to find out what was going on with our paperwork without taking everyone back upstairs and into the office.  After 30 minutes I started to get a little agitated.  The girls were still being really good, playing quietly and still getting along well, but I was getting more and more worried about the traffic we would hit on the way home.  After about 40 minutes I announced to the girls that I was giving it 5 more minutes and then we were all heading back upstairs.  Now, I know what you are thinking, some of you would have headed upstairs long before now, but I was trying to be realistic – the fax had to arrive, the social worker had to make four copies of everything, someone had to notarize all four copies, etc. - and I really didn’t want to press my luck by taking everyone back upstairs. We had escaped the waiting room once without knocking anything over, but I wasn’t sure after waiting this long I would be so lucky again.  Thankfully, just as these thoughts were crossing through my mind, our social worker stepped off the elevator, file in hand.  Hurray!  There it was!  After a month of completely ridiculous hoop-jumping, the light truly was shining brightly in my eyes.  And I could not wait to get out of there!

 

After going through the folder of papers with our social worker and a bit of small talk we were out the door.  I bundled everyone back up, headed back to the car, buckled everyone in and spent the next 20 minutes driving a total of one mile.  Yep, the Friday traffic had begun - not a good sign as we were a good 50 miles from home.  Luckily, God was truly looking out for us as once we got back on the Beltway traffic miraculously lightened up.  I had told the girls I wanted to mail off the immigration paperwork, but that we were going to drive back to the Fort Meade area first as I didn’t want to stay on the wrong side of D.C. any longer than we had to.  Amazingly, we were back within 10 miles of home in under an hour, and no I did not drive crazy fast.

At approximately 4:15 I was once again pulling everyone out of the car and this time heading into FedEx.  I quickly made copies of all of the papers Dan and I had signed in the parking lot just hours before and loaded it all in a mailing envelope along with our home study.   After telling Ellie fifteen times that I understood the bag of m&m’s on the display was candy and that we still weren’t going to buy any, I paid the amused FedEx lady to deliver my most valued paperwork possession to Texas for us and we headed back out the door.

After a fast french fry stop through the first drive-thru we spotted, remember we had left the house almost four hours ago by this time and anyone who knows my girls knows that is about four hours longer than they are happy going without food, we finally headed home.  Traffic was heavier now, but luckily we were just miles from base and we actually came through the gate just after 5 o’clock.  We made it home at 5:15, the girls had about 10 minutes to run “wild” before we got back in the car, and we headed out to our previously scheduled evening of art show and Chinese food.  

Aw… we made it…  our adventure was over… and if reading this has made you tired, I completely understand because by this time I was ready to collapse as it had been a crazy day.  But I also must say, crazy ain’t bad when it is for a good purpose.  Perhaps the most appropriate verse to quote at this point would be:  2 Corinthians 5;13a – “If we are ‘out of our mind,’ as some say, it is for God.”  To God be the glory, and may we be crazy for His purpose everyday!  But perhaps with more notice and more sleep…

The Realities of Adoption

When we first brought Becca home from China Dan and I discussed often which of our two Chinese-born children would have a harder time accepting the events surrounding her adoption.  Both Jolene and Becca were adopted as infants, but each girl has a very different early history.  I won’t go into detail here as I have not asked their permission to share, but suffice it to say one child was abandoned upon birth and the other spent at least a little time in a private setting before being turned over to state custody.  

We have always assumed that this difference in time between birth and relinquishment would become a force to be reckoned with as the girls each grieved the losses of their Chinese birth parents and came to terms with the events which brought them to where they are today.  Being abandoned on your birthday begs many questions, most all starting with the word “why”.  Being abandoned after spending a few weeks in someone’s personal care begs its own set of “why” questions, but also opens the door to many others regarding those missing pieces in the timeline.  For two girls in the same family the similarities are tremendous, but the differences stark.  Comparing the two situations it is only natural for one to question why her story is not like the other’s or why her birth parents did things another way.  And these are all things we have been preparing ourselves and our girls to eventually deal with as they grow older and process more of the life-story God has given them.  For our girls, dealing with these issues is the reality of adoption, but the other day I was hit square in the face with a different adoption reality.  

From the moment we began discussing the possibility of Jack’s adoption, I have realized that his story is very different from that of our two Chinese daughters.   Not only is Jack’s a special needs adoption, which makes his process slightly different from the girls’, but he is also an older child who has spent a significantly longer amount of time in institutionalized care.  Where our girls spent the early months of their lives in an orphanage, Jack will have spent years there.  Where our girls came home young enough that they no longer have conscious memories of their time in institutionalized care, Jack will come home remembering nothing else. 

And then there is the matter of pictures.  We have no photographs, no notes, no little pieces of the puzzle that makes up the early time of Jolene and Becca’s lives, but that also is vastly different in Jack’s case.  When we received our referrals for Jolene and Becca we also received a few picture of each girl, two or three shots of a little girl on toy she looked completely unfamiliar with.  For Jack, we received multiple pictures at various ages from our adoption agency when we were first matched, we have access to a plethora of photos taken by various mission trip members who have travel to China with Show Hope, and we even have a picture of Jack and I together that I took!  All that, and we haven’t even gotten that dumb home study finalized yet.  What an incredible difference!   Just looking through the albums of photos taken by my own mission trip companions I can find a multitude of pictures of Jack, his roommates, his care givers and his long-term home.  That, in and of itself, is remarkable, and something that our girls will (sadly) never have.

Then there is the subject of Life Books.  I don’t know if you are familiar with the term of not, but these would be the adoption version of a baby book I suppose.  It is a place to write the story of your adopted child’s beginnings.  To record the few things you do know about their personal history and to give explanation to many of the things you don’t know.  I have written such a book for both Jolene and Becca.  (I must admit that Becca’s has never been assembled – bad mother of “twins”  I never quite got the scrapbooking part done among work and babies – but am determined to complete it now that I’ve posted this…) And I hope that these books will someday be of great value to both girls as they grieve their losses and embrace their blessings.  But with Jack, I’m not quite sure how to begin such a project.   

I used a template to get started with the girls, and some of the basics are of course the same – facts about China, our waiting and working to bring him home, etc., but that is where the similarities stop and the differences start to impact reality.  How do you find the words to explain to a little boy why, in a country that values sons more than daughters, he was given away?  How do you explain that while many orphaned children are abandoned as wee infants, he was relinquished to the state after living with a family for a year’s time.  I just have a feeling this book is going to be gut-wrenching to write and one tough read when it’s finished.  And yes, I know that the power of the story is in the ending that comes with it – that truth and glory that God put all of the pieces of Jack’s life together in such a way so that he might find his way to the family God had designed just for him - but that doesn’t make the opening passages less of a heartache to piece together. 

I have long been a supporter of orphan care and specifically adoption.  It is close to our hearts and we recommend it very highly, but today my heart breaks for the very sad realities of the adoption story Jack will have.  I know his birthparents loved him.  If they hadn’t, things would be very different in his story.  They made a choice that I cannot even fathom having to make – a choice between letting go and saving their son’s life or holding on tight and allowing his medical needs to consume him.  I cannot imagine the inner struggle that must accompany a decision such as that one.  Yes, both of our daughters began their lives with parents who could not keep them, but for some reason those stories are easier for me to accept.    Perhaps that is because both of our girls were loved so much that a choice was made to provide them with life and a future in a country were abortion is accepted, available and often encouraged.   Perhaps it is because theirs is the “typical” story for children being adopted from China – girls losing their family amidst a culture less accepting of them.  But Jack is not a girl.  His story is not “typical”.   His orphan story is not short and confined to the first year of his life.  In reality the first year of his life could probably not be any more different than the first year of our girls’ for his story of adoption didn’t begin until after that year was over.  That is the reality of his life story.  That is the reality of his personal history.   And if that reality doesn’t impact your heart in some small, uncomfortable way then I’m not sure you’ve really been listening. 

I was reminded of this scripture the other day while watching the latest Veggie Tales movie:  “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  (Jeremiah 29:11)  It is here in this verse that I find comfort in Jack’s story and it is most likely from here that I will begin his life book.  Jack’s story may not be “typical”.  It may not be what people expect for a Chinese adoption, but it is his story and it is the story that God put into place within His incredible plan.  God has a plan for Jack, a plan of hope and a plan for a future.  A rough path to follow to bring him into his own, perhaps, but Jack’s reality, I truly believe, will eventually be his crowning glory as he tells the world how his God was so big and so powerful He is able to care for the smallest of orphans and give them hope.